chemical masterbation

To use/abuse or pleasure oneself with drugs. Usually referring to narcotics or rather hard drugs such as opiates (heroin, morphine oxycodone, methadone, demorol, ect..) or the stronger stimulants such as cocaine, methamphetime or other amphetamine like compounds. And also usually doing so in high excess/abuse.

person a:Man, that cat used to be cool but went over the edge with chemical masterbation
person b: what do you mean?
person a: he went off the deep end shootin coke.
person b: oh yeah your right, he jacked some money from me the other day.

by LeibstandarteAdH (Matt B.) April 1, 2007

Masturhation

Surfing a social network, and (whether intentional or no premeditation) hating on peoples' pictures. Obviously you don't post a comment, but you may tell a friend or two to check out this person, and how you think they're fake. Although it can happen with anybody, it is more common in people with ovaries.

Brit: Omg, did you see Hannah's new pictures? She's wearing A&F clothes, but she always talks about how she hates preppy clothes.

Dave: I don't care, at all. Quit with your masturhation. All you've been doing for the past 30 minutes is complaining about other girls on myspace.

by Domonic February 16, 2009

Masturdating

When you masturbate so often, you seem to be dating your hand.

Josh: Where's Phil been lately?
Bob: I don't know man, I think he's masturdating again.
Josh: I thought he got over Handgelina Jolie?
Bob: He did, it's Lindsey Lohand know.

by Meester Neenja April 7, 2011

female masterbation

watering one's flower. ;)

by Anonymous January 23, 2003

masterbation

The endearing way grade schoolers spell the act of spanking the monkey or fucking Manuela and her 5 sisters

According to ancient myth, masterbation gives you hairy palms

by Hugh G Rection February 18, 2005

Masterbation Port

A Hole in a pair of pants or shorts that is located in the crotch reigon. This can be applied to both males and females, but mostly found in lazy males.

"Dude, that's sick, you have a freakin' masterbation port in your pants, Stitch it up already!"

by H_Zula April 6, 2005

Masturdating

When you date yourself because you know what you like best.

“No sir, I’m not alone; I’m masturdating”.

by Meowrific March 23, 2020