carpenter job

when you get a rusty nail full of tetanus and cram it down your urethra with a hammer.

dude, i just gave myself the most gnarly carpenter job over with a sledge-hammer.

by reidilydeidily March 24, 2010

Carpenters Bukkake

Stemming from ancient Nordic boatbuilding times, this traditional hazing ritual has been rebirthed in the extended modern woodworking community and is still revered as a right of passage in this noblest of trades

An appreciative apprentice kneels within a standing circle of their peers, where as a true sign of respect, proceed to masturbate furiously over the face of "the chosen one".

Once the youngling has been supremely coated, this is directly followed by a large battering of sawdust to aid the curing process.

An important step is to have Rick Astley play in the background.

The pupil now becomes the plastered master

A-Boy: The new guys really coming into his own, how long has he been here for?
B-Boy: I remember his first day, has to be about three years now
C-Boy: Oh boy, looks like he's prime for a Carpenters Bukkake, I'll grab the lube and dust
A-Boy: (singing) never gonna, never gonna, never gonna...
B-Boy: Kneel child, it's time for us to pay our respects
D-Boy: Thanks guys, it's such an honou……(muffled gargle)

by The phantom tanner March 11, 2019

Cambodian Carpenter's Belt

Sexual maneuver whereby the male pulls out just prior to ejaculation, and drains his balls around the woman's waist. He then proceeds to affix lightweight tools that adhere when the payload dries.

Nick: Where'd your hook-up go from last night?
Rick: That bitch was straight blue-collar, so I gave her a Cambodian Carpenter's Belt. I sent that biggums out the door wearing some drill bits and garden twine.

by Gree December 14, 2008

carpenter

the act of a woman giving a hand job while holding a piece of sandpaper.

"dude! i almost went to the hospital 'cause that bitch tried to give me a carpenter"

by stoak May 8, 2010

Cambodian Carpenter's Belt

Sexual maneuver whereby the male pulls out just prior to ejaculation, and drains his balls around the woman's waist. He then proceeds to affix lightweight tools that adhere when the payload dries.

Nick: Where'd your hook-up go from last night?
Rick: That bitch was straight blue-collar, so I gave her a Cambodian Carpenter's Belt. I sent that biggums out the door wearing some drill bits and garden twine.

by Gree December 14, 2008

Carpenterly

To have skills that would do one well as a carpenter

but ya i wouldn't make that too much effort and i'm not carpenterly-inclined

by Joe the Carpenter December 19, 2008

Jarpenters

Jeans with a hammer loop. Originally intended for carpenters, enabling them to work in a more efficient manner.

The term 'jarpenters' only applies to jeans in which the loop is not actually intended to hold a hammer and might therefore be decorated with a brand logo.

Guy 1: "See that dude at the end of the bar wearing those Tommy jarpenters? I bet we could score some hash off of him. I'll go ask him...if that visible boner he's got ever goes away. What a sick bastard."

Guy 2: "He should tuck that thing in his hammer loop. Put those jarpenters to use."

by Jack McPheuck June 22, 2012