Pinch the loaf and wipe the counter!

A phrase commonly screamed at people who are taking way too much time shitting.
"Pinch the loaf" - is where you pinch your turd off in mid-poop, to hurry.
"wipe the counter" - is where you wipe your ass with haste.

Person 1 has been sitting in the bathroom shitting for an hour.
Person 2: "Pinch the loaf and wipe the counter! We have got to get to the meeting!"
Person 1: "ALRIGHT GOD DAMNIT!"

by Mrs. Hankey June 5, 2010

laffy taffy

(n)This is a slang term for the female genitalia-- more specifically, the labia minora-- so termed for it's resemblance to stretched (pink) laffy taffy. Therefore, the term may also carry with it connotation of excessive sexual intercourse which can result in a stretched or elongated labia minora.

That ho had so much sex, when she spreads her legs, Willy Wonka himself would envy her Laffy Taffy.

by shecky December 28, 2005

lint loaf

Massive accumulation of lint in a clothes dryer screen that can be peeled off in one huge slab, usually 1/4 inch thick or more.

You did HOW many loads before cleaning the trap?? That's the biggest fucking lint loaf I've ever seen!

by lordjupiter May 27, 2005

light in his loafers

Euphemism for homosexual man, especially when implying femininity.

Jerry: Why isn't John here at the bar watching the local sports game?
Jared: He's going shopping with Jenny before they go see Chick Flick.
Jerry: What, is that his girlfriend or something?
Jared: I dunno, John always seemed a little light in his loafers....

by T Cook May 15, 2006

loafer

Person who is generaly lazy and likes to sleep in, watch TV, and do other various lazy activities constantly. Comes from the late 1700's when it refered to a sailer who tried to avoid doing work.

He woke up at 3 pm? What a loafer!

by chrysolite13 July 25, 2004

pinch a loaf

Using your sphincter muscle to "pinch" a loaf of shit that is hanging halfway out your ass and won't drop of its own accord. Pinching a loaf always results in extra-messy wiping.

"Hurry up and finish taking a shit, we're already late! Pinch the loaf if you must!"

"Thanks for suggesting that I pinch a loaf; it worked. Now I have to spend 5 minutes wiping, then we can leave."

by bingobastard March 28, 2009

Loafting

The act of lifting and floating. Also the wasting of time when important stuff has to get done.

"Hey Sarracini, stop loafting man, we gotta go smash stuff!"

by Brokkalakis October 6, 2009