Humpty Dumpty

A man who is a player and an asshole
(He humps and dumps)

Jen: don’t date that Humpty Dumpty

by BoliviaCitrius May 8, 2021

Humpty Dumpty

When you are hovering your ass over the toilet and the shit hits the lid of the toilet before sliding into it

Person 1: Hey man I was taking a crap at the office today and I made a Humpty Dumpty

Person 2: That sucks, Did you clean up the smear?

Person 1: No I left it, I'm not touching that shit

by BirdKibble July 25, 2022

Rumpty dumpty

When you fuck a girl on the top of a wall and shove a firecrackers up her ass and your fist up her pussy.

I had such a good rumpty dumpty with my cousin last night.

by John dahl88 April 29, 2024

Humpty Dumpty

When having sex while taking a shit

Yo, my girl and I just did the Humpty Dumpty!!

by ISmashRatchets August 8, 2019

Rumpty dumpty

When your feet fly out from under you and you land on your ass and can't walk right afterwards.

She hit that ice and pulled a rumpty dumpty

by Osubjj September 27, 2021

Humpty-Dumptied

This wonderful event starts out with a man sitting on a wall to show off his crotch to a woman he has a crush on. To show the woman that he is mating material, he will hump the wall in hopes of moistening her lady garden. However, he does not realize that humping the hard wall will stimulate his spinky and cause a great fall... of shit. The poopy will land below on the woman, and all hopes of mating will be crushed.

Tyrant: Yo boss, happy Friday. Any fun plans for the weekend?

The Boss: Yea I was gonna go to the Meat Market tonight for some juicy Italian sausage, but I accidentally Humpty-Dumptied my wife last night and I gotta make it up to her.

Tyrant: Bro... you’re gonna have to explain this one.

The Boss: Okay.. so I hopped on our little wall between our living room and kitchen and figured I would try to turn her on. Turns out.. I only turned on my shit wagon and inadvertently plopped a log right on her dome. Safe to say I won’t be getting dome for a while.

Tyrant: Damn dude I’m so sorry to hear that. Hope she doesn’t get POO-TSD from that. Next time wear your Shitbit, as it would’ve warned you that logs were a brewin’.

by Stoney69 December 18, 2020

Humpty Dumpty

One partner puts an egg (uncooked, in the shell) up their butt and the couple goes on a date. If the egg breaks, the partner with the egg gives head to the other and if it doesn’t, the other partner retrieves the egg and makes breakfast (after giving head).

Hey babe, should we Humpty Dumpty tonight at the pub? Our friends will never know. Hehehhe

by corub69 January 7, 2024