Stoney69's definitions

Misery Loves Cumpoony

So you’re having a bad day. What better way to improve the day than to play a joke on someone and make them miserable too? This gag starts by dropping a steamy snickers along with a cream pie in the punch bowl and then dropping an object of importance right next to the toilet. You must now come up with an excuse to make someone else retrieve the item (eg: I threw out my back last night bc Bill Cosby pounded my spinky so good. Could you please help me?). If timed correctly, when the poor lad goes to pick up the item, the toilet will auto flush and the creamy mudpie will splatter onto his face like a child trying to eat a cream filled donut.

Tyrant: Dude I took the kids swimming yesterday. It was a nice day.

Big Easy: Glad you had a nice day, my day was miserable. I went to the shitter and decided to pump and dump. Then told buhl I needed him to pick something up for me. When he went to bend over the toilet flushed at the perfect time and he got mollywhopped by my Boston cream pie. You know what they say, “misery loves cumpoony”.

Tyrant: You need to see a psychiatrist.

by Stoney69 August 29, 2019

Jack-hammering

Pounding a hoe in the vag or even the spinky, when feeling daring enough. The male thrusts at a speed that is resembling of a jack hammer. This may cause small fissures and sometimes even full cracks in the applicable genitalia/shit-partition.

Tyrant: Dude I went trout fishing last night, caught a few. Hbu?

Big Easy: Dawg I went jack-hammering with my wife. Pounded her spinky so hard I created a crack in her ass.... now she has two asscracks.

by Stoney69 July 5, 2019

Catacumb

An underground gallery full of ancient artifacts (or Jizzifacts if you will) from centuries past. May consist of jizz rags, jizz filled socks, jizz crusted tissues, etc. Access is permitted only to those who contribute their own unique Jizzifact to the Catacumb.

Mike: Yo Tone-Bone, my wife wouldn’t let me enter the Krusty Krab last night so I had to create my own jizz rag.

Tone-Bone: DAWG! You should totally add your jizz rag to the Catacumb downtown. You could becum a part of ancient Jizztory.

Mike: Bone my dawg, you are a genius. I hadn’t pulled my monkey in over a week so I splat like a fire hose.

Tone-Bone: Bro that’s vile.. I envy you.

by Stoney69 February 9, 2019

Prostate-toot-shuN

When a prostitute fiddles with your prostate until you toot, and then you shun her for the rest of the STD bang sesh.

Big Queefy: Yo Boner, I’m tryna hit hooters tonight, you in?

Boney Stoney: First, it’s Boney, not Boner. And second, I’m out. I’m shunning prostitutes rn, I call it prostate-toot-shun. So I’m not down with looking at any Hooter whores tonight. You’ll get multiple STDs just looking at them.

Big Queefy: True, I got Gonorrhea and Crabs just from staring at this Hooter hoe last time. Turns out the crabs were not the food like I thought..

Boney Stoney: Damn that’s hot. Nvm, I’m so in.

by Stoney69 July 16, 2022

Tainter Tots

This delicious delicacy is made with the leftover smegma from your gooch. The tasty remnants are then rolled up into little tatter tot sized balls and baked on high for 30-35 minutes. It is crucial that they are given 5 minutes to cool, as this will complete the crisping process. Recommended for ages 5+

Johnny Crapplebees: Yo Tyrant, I’m looking for a nice side to go with my turkey sandwich. Any suggestions?

Tyrantula: Juicy Johnson.. I got the perfect snack for you. Try some of the Tainter Tots I made last night, they’ll really hit the spot and even pack some protein. I also have a nice creamy dipping sauce for ya too if you’re interested ;)

Johnny Crapplebees: Wow.

by Stoney69 March 23, 2019

Chocolate Rain

A revenge term for when you find out your gf is cheating on you and instead of breaking up with her, you hit her with a chocolate rain. First, you take a bunch of laxatives before sex and make sure you are pounding doggy style. Then, right as you are about to bust your load, you pull out and swiftly hop forward like a kangaroo and cover her head with a concoction of cum and diarrhea. The key is to make sure this all takes place in HER bed and once you are done, you hold up both middle fingers and walk out with a huge smile.

Mike: Dude I had some wicked sex last night, I must’ve busted like 6 times.

Stoney: Bruh, my gf is a total gutter slut and cheated on me with some douchewad. So I acted like I didn’t know and I hit her with the gnarliest chocolate rain. It was glorious.

Mike: Bro.... NICE!!!!

by Stoney69 January 9, 2019

Fruity Pubeles

The man consumes copious amounts of fruit, causing his semen to taste sweet. He proceeds to ejaculate into the woman’s mouth, while she simultaneously sucks on his furry pebbles, receiving a delicious taste of Fruity Pubeles… part of a balanced breakfast.

Barney: Dude my girlfriend has been super hungry lately, it’s kind of making her a total bitch.

Fred: Brotato, just give her a taste of some of your Fruity Pubeles and she’ll be satiated in no time.

by Stoney69 January 12, 2019