The Discombobulated Shady Knick-Knack is a rare
goat-
like animal that is found on the
high mountain slopes of the Scottish Mountains. When at its most confused, the Knick-Knack spins around in circles for approximately two minutes and then goes on a rampage to eat Cairngorm
Snow Haggis’s. The minerals found in Cairngorm
Snow Haggis’s helps the Knick-Knack grow a
thick white furry coat that’s helps keep it warm when temperatures drop to a chilly -27°C.
Due to less oxygen on top of some of the hills the Knick-knack’s lungs are able to take bigger breaths to absorb as much oxygen as possible. The feet of the Knick-Knack are wide so the feet do not sink into the
snow whilst chasing
Snow haggises.
Knick-Knacks can be seen all year round in the Scottish Highlands but are particularly common in the winter months where the Knick-knack has been known to eat the unfortunate winter hill-walker or
ice-climber with its razor sharp sabre-tooth teeth. Since modern hill-walking gear has got tougher over the years the Knick-Knack has developed sharper teeth so it can tear through the most Gore-Texed jacket on the market.
Physiatrist: You seem to be shivering alot. Whats
wrong? Are you
cold?
Non-Scottish person: I-I-I got chased down Ben Nevis by a
Discombobulated Shady Knick-Knack.
Physiatrist: Christ, he will never recover.
