Humpty humped me

A unneutered male dog greeting his owner at the front door.

When I came in the door last night, Humpty humped me, that silly nut!

by Mrs. Johnson January 10, 2007

sinor humpty hump

The majestic Mexican midget that picks a special person every weekend to hump the ever loving fuck out of them

I just got a visit from sinor humpty hump

by Sinor humpty hump November 28, 2019

humpty trumpty

A man whose fate is attached to a wall, especially one who has little strength or stability.

Immigration fears led to a humpty trumpty candidate gaining support.

by smjgJsbjgsm October 28, 2018

Humpty stage 4

Totally fucked.

Reference to the last line of the nursery rhyme 'Humpty Dumpty'.

'We have a Humpty stage 4 in progress. Nothing's gonna happen soon.'

'What the fuck have you done to your house?! Man this is Humpty stage 4 shit.'

'Everyone's just got back from being out last night and it looks like they're all at Humpty Stage 4.'

by Mr Evil 2 December 19, 2012

Humpty Dumpty Dumbass

A person whose IQ points are so low it's funny - anyone who has an IQ score of 70 or below is considered this.

Person 1 (Humpty Dumpty Dumbass): I was supposed to cook a pie today and it said to put it at 120 degrees, I measured a protractor to 120 degrees, and it didn't even feel warm to the touch after I set a timer for one hour! It melted! It said on the package set at 120 degrees for 45 - 60 minutes!! I'm suing McCain's for making a pie that doesn't cook and just sits in your oven like a pile of shit!!!!

Person 2: Holy fucking shit Kyle I told you this a thousand times! Your oven has a button that says "Bake" and you press it to set the degrees in celsius or fahrenheit, NOT A FUCKING MEASUREMENT ON YOUR STUPID NO FUCKING GOOD PROTRACTOR!! HUMPTY DUMPTY DUMBASS!

by beeytch\ April 18, 2017

H.D.(HUMPTY DUMPTY)

H.D. is a short fat bald man who does nothing but talks about his ancient yet insignifcant military career, and also who wants to fuck john cary in the ass. This person also has sexual relations with his cat named wanda.

H.D. if you look at shirley's ass one more time you ass is fired.

by Team Mopar November 17, 2004

Humpty Dumpty Junkie

A junkie that is accident prone and always ends up in hospitals

A humpty dumpty junkie is a junkie that always ends up in hospitals due to falls and brittle bones, like if Mr. Glass from unbreakable was a junkie

by EricCC December 10, 2014