Garth (noun) —
A Gaarf running at maximum corruption.
A Garth is the networking gremlin who treats cable management like foreplay and gets more turned on by a straight fiber run than by actual human affection. His idea of intimacy is whispering sweet nothings to a switch during a firmware upgrade.
A Garth (aka Gaarf) supports a Portuguese football team with the kind of blind, horny loyalty usually found only in dogs and drunk uncles. When Portugal loses, a Garth collapses emotionally, spiritually, and sometimes physically — like a router someone kicked one too many times.
Traits of a full-power Garth include:
• labeling EVERYTHING, including things that shouldn’t be labeled
• going feral when someone uses the wrong cable colour
• throwing a fit so dramatic it should be on Netflix
• lecturing you on “industry standards” while his life is held together with hope, zip ties, and rage
• getting more offended by a messy rack than by an insult to his mother
A Garth’s personality is 60% networking, 30% football delusion, and 10% sweating aggressively whenever something is out of place. Touch his patch panel and he’ll appear out of nowhere like a demon summoned by untidy cabling.
A Gaarf running at maximum corruption.
A Garth is the networking gremlin who treats cable management like foreplay and gets more turned on by a straight fiber run than by actual human affection. His idea of intimacy is whispering sweet nothings to a switch during a firmware upgrade.
A Garth (aka Gaarf) supports a Portuguese football team with the kind of blind, horny loyalty usually found only in dogs and drunk uncles. When Portugal loses, a Garth collapses emotionally, spiritually, and sometimes physically — like a router someone kicked one too many times.
Traits of a full-power Garth include:
• labeling EVERYTHING, including things that shouldn’t be labeled
• going feral when someone uses the wrong cable colour
• throwing a fit so dramatic it should be on Netflix
• lecturing you on “industry standards” while his life is held together with hope, zip ties, and rage
• getting more offended by a messy rack than by an insult to his mother
A Garth’s personality is 60% networking, 30% football delusion, and 10% sweating aggressively whenever something is out of place. Touch his patch panel and he’ll appear out of nowhere like a demon summoned by untidy cabling.
“Bru, calm down — I only moved ONE cable. No need to go full Garth and start vibrating like Portugal just bottled another match.”
by FankieFonkProp November 19, 2025
Get the Garth mug.A boy who is very clingy, but does not really know anything about you, and overly uses inappropriate compliments in random contexts to try to get you to go out with him. He also gets mad you when you can't drop everything to be able to go out, as he realizes his gross compliments have failed. Gets mad fro a day, then it all starts over again the next morning.
by london2018 February 21, 2017
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