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Canadian 

A person who unknowingly hates themselves for being a citizen of an inferior country. This self hate is brought on by a disease called iwishiwuzamericandis. Causes of this disease are unknown but have been linked to shitty cold weather, piss labeled as beer, failure to master one's "own" sport (Bruins?), lack of culture and awkward social cues. Experts say the only thing good coming from America's nerdy little redheaded stepbrother is high grade marijuana. It's speculated, though, that the US will be better at that in just a couple years. Side effects include trying to be American but in a very sissy way.
Canadian at Canadian bar:

Ooh, I hate those Americans, with their low taxes and awesome weather and theme parks and Miley Cyrus. I love maple syrup.

Mexican at Canadian bar: Are you kidding?
(mumbles) God shit twice and there was Canada.

Canadian at Canadian bar: What'd you say?

Mexican at Canadian bar: Oh, um. Gosh it's nice, here's to Canada.
Canadian by Swampdonkey97 June 30, 2011

Canadian 

Being Canadian is like renting the loft apartment above a really great party, a.k.a. America
Man that looks like fun, too bad we're canadians
Canadian by Doogie,theoneandonly February 23, 2011

canadian 

a canadian is a person who lives in canada.
usually considered a 'sub-species', or the mutated people of the U.S.
they are usually found to pronounce words with 'oo' than 'o'. such as 'aboot', instead of 'about'.
canadians also treat curling like a real sport, and enjoy playing ice hockey 24/7
sometimes referred to as 'wetbacks' or 'hockey loving nuts'
those bastard canadians are playing hockey in the street again!
the damn canadian telling me to 'get-oot' of his garbage cans!
the mutant yank had a go at me today...bastard canadians
canadian by neilganjaman September 27, 2008

Canadian 

A person from Canada. When asked to define being canadian, a canadian will tell you that they are NOT AMERICAN. Though, most other countries identify Canadians as being American Light or French. If a canadian is further prodded for a definition of Canadian beyond not American, most will ramble about snow, toques (and here they mean knit caps worn in winter), hockey amd maple syrup. Canadians lack cultural identity, and so when asked theirs they will list off the countries that their ancestors are from, even if their family has been in Canada for 200 years. A Canadian will usually only tell you that they are Canadian when asked their nationality, such as when travelling or for passport and census purposes.

Note that the above applies only to English Canadians. A French Canadian, be they Québécois, or French Canadian from any other province, is proud of their cultural identity, and their language.
English Canadian in France:

Canadian: I'm from Canada
Frenchman: Oh, so basically you are American?
Canadian: No, I'm English, Welsh, and Italian.
Canadian by HallstattCulture September 7, 2013

canadian 

If you want to see what real canadians are like just watch Strange Brew on netflix. Totally how canadians act.
canadian by dacraka March 25, 2011

Canadian 

to be a bum,loser,wack person, not cool,not original,crybaby,someone who has no frieds
yo i just found a used condom" "man you mad Canadian!
Canadian by thorykuleelsum February 23, 2011

Canadian 

A Canadian is basically someone with a weird English accent, a flapping mouth and PacMan head, and loads of farts and queefs up their butts.
Canadian by JeffyFanatic5000 January 18, 2022