Zelch

A penis that is so hard that when you hit it with a hammer, the hammer breaks.

When Stu first saw Farrah Fawcett's poster, he grew a zelch.

I was awakened in the middle of the night by a painful Zelch

by Guntherthepriest June 29, 2009

Zelch

A penis that is so hard that when you hit it with a hammer, the hammer breaks.

When Chad saw Paul P. in the cafeteria, he had an instant zelch.

by billsfan2 August 27, 2010

Adam zelch

A scruffy ugly smelly cunt who can't afford a hair cut

Erghh look at that smelly spastic Adam zelch

by Dburn3 July 12, 2016

Zelching

When you lick 10 zyns and place them on your dick, and have someone give you a blowjob.

Josh: Yo you remember that girl i picked up last friday, she was zelching me all night long
Jake: What flavor were the zyns dawg

by barbecue jim beams March 29, 2024

zelched

What you are after smoking a fat blunt.

Man, i took one hit of that chronic and i was zelched!

by YESSSSSSSSS May 20, 2007

Zelching

Doing fuck all

Nursing a phat hangover, been zelching all day
Katy law 2020

by Zelcher February 21, 2020

Zelching

When you put your girls toes in your mouth and swing her in a circle while jacking off. Any girl who would want this is definitely not the girl you want to do anything with.

“Dude she let me pull a Zelching on her!”
“How much did she cost?”

by Not Ashton Molloy May 1, 2024