Fastard

The owner of the 3X ETF FAS (Direxion Financials Bull 3X ETF). The term denotes someone who goes "long" FAS, i.e. buys the equity. Tard is common in stock lingo for anyone who has a long position.

You Fastards are doomed(tm) when the bank stocks go through the floor.

by CosmicHemorroid April 25, 2009

Fastard

Short for "Fucking Bastard"

Jack: Sorry dawg, I can't go hand wit you guys tonight. My parents are being fastards.
Cole: No prob holmes, we'll see ya next week then.

by Perennialartist January 15, 2006

Fastard

An incredibly stupid person who must be suffering from Fetal Alcohol Syndrome (F.A.S) and is also a retard.

That guy was so stupid, he's a real fastard!

by kmort April 10, 2007

Fastard

Pronounced like bastard but with an F instead. This is a term usually used in sport mostly football. This is when someone is a bastard (not litterally) for being fast.

E.G. Big P is running towards an open goal he thinks hes scored however his dreams are crushed by Carlos running up from the halfway line and catching him.

Big P: Carlos is such a fastard!

by PrezMeister September 6, 2007

Fastard

A private citizen or government official who, despite the dire consequences their actions create, does whatever they feel like doing for the momentary pleasure they will receive or favor they will gain. Pathological.

That bunch of fastards went to the beach even though their families were huddled in their homes during the pandemic.

Congress is a bunch of fastards. They keep a president that clearly doesn't belong there.

by mrb2563 March 23, 2020

Fastard

Shortening of \"Fat Bastard\"

I was enjoying the movie until some fastard came and sat in front of me.

by Tom Lane April 26, 2005

bat fastard

Language for use around children and fat idiots who are to large for using all normal sized equipment, formed by simply getting an abusive phrase and changing the first letters around.

look at that bat fastard he needs a large one.

by anal passage July 19, 2006