Dildometer

A scientific instrument used to measeure dildons. Dildon is a derived term, like Newton, to represent dildoes per square foot.

Mr T: Whoa, I'm picking up 34 Dildons on my TI Super Dildometer!
Chuck Norris: Someone has alot of dildoes around here!!!
Your Mom: Oh, that's just me. ;-)

by Shouter January 8, 2008

dildometer

An abstract tool for measuring acts of douchitude on a subjective scale.

The "editors" of urbandictionary often break the dildometer scale when they reject my definitions for no good reason...including this one.

by BigEz April 8, 2010

Dildometer

The dildometer is a device used to measure the velocity of any given dildo. i.e. the speed of a dildos movement when inserted into an orifice of the users choice.

Tom: What were your new dildo's ratings on the dildometer??
Jessica: My dildo was off the charts!! The dildometer read out the dildocity at an astonishing 100 dildons!
Tom: Wow! You gotta let me borrow that!

by butt chug January 2, 2016

Dildometer

A tool used to measure the ROP (rate of penetration) a given dildo can achieve during use.

Pronounced "dil-dah-mih-ter"

Mechanics got back with my bout that faulty dildo.. His dildometer indicated it had an extremely low ROP! Time fer a new dilly!

by Multi-zone Completion December 12, 2010

dickometer

A personal temperature gauge. Every male has one.

"I stuck my dickometer in that bitch to see how hot she was."

by angusvox April 26, 2009

dildometry

the perfect science of being a complete and total tool...

what the fuck is this dildometry?!? what the hell are you idiots doing?!? jesus fucking christ!

by Ayhch February 12, 2010

Dildometrist

N. A professional who creates and designs prescription dildos for a specific person.

I am going to make an order with the dildometrist.

by &*& August 3, 2016