ass cactus

A large, nut-filled turd that hurts the ass upon exit.

Man, that crap hurt! It was a real ass cactus!

by Bigsteve February 24, 2005

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Man, my boss was a real ass cactus today!

by Jay Young April 19, 2005

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cactus ass

A prickly, fiery burning in the rectal cavity during the act of defecation, as though one were passing a cactus through the colon.

Remind me not to get the Inferno Burger next time we go out to eat; that gave me mad cactus ass.

by Dodger of Zion November 19, 2010

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The prickly, greasy, "Cactus" feeling in which booty sweat and booboo residue remain in the anus for a lengthy amount of time.

Sometimes when I work out, I end up getting Cactus ass if I don't shower right after!

by Rat Brown May 29, 2011

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When you have diarrhea that's so bad you stand up and can feel your butthole burning. Similar to having a cactus shoved up your ass.

Damn, Steve ate so much Taco Bell he blew up the toilet and is stuck with cactus ass now.

by ssmithsb19 August 4, 2016

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When you have several hairs in your bum, and you also don't wipe. The hairs began to crust, and become more firm so it pokes around your bum.

by Firekrackerinmybutt September 5, 2017

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When you pnly shave your butthole once a week and complain about it non-stop.

Stop being a cactus ass bitch and take care of yourself for once, Karen!

by everyrhingistaken January 2, 2020

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