Unusually ugly, with a terrible sense of humor. You hate to make her laugh because the sound that comes out, almost resembles the sound of a dying
pig. A Tess is usually extremely
annoying and somebody you ignore in public. Tess could also be refereed to as a "Crack
head", or "Crack
whore". You always know when a Tess is coming because the entire ground shakes, or you
may hear the sound of the crane lifting her in because she is too large to go threw the door. She cant fit in any car except for a semi. A Tess is the kind of person you would never want to get stuck in an elevator with. But if you do get on an elevator with her you wouldn't survive, you would be eaten.