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A kind of potato, S. tuberdulcis, growing in the hills of Peru known for its unique, almond taste.
They... had begun to steal disators from local vendors after the price nearly tripled during the shortage. (Marvin, A Brief History of Peru and The Shining Path)

Vagina Distortion Field 

Like the notorious reality distortion field (RDF) of Steve Jobs, a Vagina Distortion Field (VDF) affects perception, which thereby alters behavior. When someone is affected by a woman's VDF, every aspect of her being seemingly improves in that person's view. A woman's VDF typically only influences those who have not yet had access to said vagina. Being warped by a VDF is different than being pussy whipped. With the latter, the whipped individual behaves abnormally to maintain access to the pussy, but perception of the vagina owner is not altered. The VDF often has the greatest affect on the owner of the vagina, making her vastly overestimate her worth, influence, and potential.
Spock: "Captain, you are once again risking the lives of the entire crew in the pursuit of some green slag."

Kirk: "Mr. Spock, your libido-less Vulcan logic fails to grasp the enormity of the daily Pon Farr that starship command subjects on a man."

Spock: "Mr. Sulu and Mr. Chekov, move the Enterprise as far as is necessary and raise whatever shield is needed to protect the captain's mind from the insidious Vagina Distortion Field that is destroying his judgement."

Kirk: "Spawwwwwwwwwk!!!"

<cue Kirk fight music>

distortionist 

A less biting, somewhat elegant and mystical sounding term used to describe a practiced liar.
At one time, before his traitorous cognitive decline, the Hitman in Chief was a most prolific and talented distortionist.
distortionist by Dr Bunnygirl September 27, 2019

the forbidden predominant space time continuum bending, soul snatching, reality distorting, quintuple ultra seal vacuum, Gwak gwak twister gobble double bubble blowie combo wombo beyond infinity procedure. 

the forbidden predominant space time continuum bending, soul snatching, reality distorting, quintuple ultra seal vacuum, Gwak gwak twister gobble double bubble blowie combo wombo beyond infinity procedure.

is simply destruction
Some slut: I will now preform the forbidden predominant space time continuum bending, soul snatching, reality distorting, quintuple ultra seal vacuum, Gwak gwak twister gobble double bubble blowie combo wombo beyond infinity procedure.

Everything: Dead

Perspectorial distortion 

When a girl looks good from a distance but as the girl gets closer you realize that your previous notion was false. (Also know as P.D.)
When you see that girl from a distance and is like damn shes hot, but when she gets close you notice 5 warts on her face and an abnormally lopsided set of breast. You say "damn that was some major P.D.(Perspectorial distortion )".

dilatory 

tending to delay or procrastinate; slow; tardy
The dilatory car was not speeding down the highway; instead, it was driving really slowly.
dilatory by xyc October 17, 2007