distorian—noun 1. a person who distorts, rather than honestly reports, history. 2. a person who, under the guise of reporting history, engages in a diatribe, debunking, or moral defenestration. 3. a person whose view of history is decidedly downbeat or misanthropic. adjective, of or concerning such a faux-historical or negative attitude or reporting.
A White House distorian says George Bush is the best president the US has ever had.
That new book that claims there was no Holocaust was obviously written by a distorian.
All those gloomy-doomy types that deny the world is constantly getting better are taking a distorian view of things.
That new book that claims there was no Holocaust was obviously written by a distorian.
All those gloomy-doomy types that deny the world is constantly getting better are taking a distorian view of things.
by J. Karlin September 13, 2006
Get the distorian mug."Disney actually has a rather rough history compared to many top companies today." said DIStorian Joe Shmoe.
by notbowlingdude November 9, 2020
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Like the notorious reality distortion field (RDF) of Steve Jobs, a Vagina Distortion Field (VDF) affects perception, which thereby alters behavior. When someone is affected by a woman's VDF, every aspect of her being seemingly improves in that person's view. A woman's VDF typically only influences those who have not yet had access to said vagina. Being warped by a VDF is different than being pussy whipped. With the latter, the whipped individual behaves abnormally to maintain access to the pussy, but perception of the vagina owner is not altered. The VDF often has the greatest affect on the owner of the vagina, making her vastly overestimate her worth, influence, and potential.
Spock: "Captain, you are once again risking the lives of the entire crew in the pursuit of some green slag."
Kirk: "Mr. Spock, your libido-less Vulcan logic fails to grasp the enormity of the daily Pon Farr that starship command subjects on a man."
Spock: "Mr. Sulu and Mr. Chekov, move the Enterprise as far as is necessary and raise whatever shield is needed to protect the captain's mind from the insidious Vagina Distortion Field that is destroying his judgement."
Kirk: "Spawwwwwwwwwk!!!"
<cue Kirk fight music>
Kirk: "Mr. Spock, your libido-less Vulcan logic fails to grasp the enormity of the daily Pon Farr that starship command subjects on a man."
Spock: "Mr. Sulu and Mr. Chekov, move the Enterprise as far as is necessary and raise whatever shield is needed to protect the captain's mind from the insidious Vagina Distortion Field that is destroying his judgement."
Kirk: "Spawwwwwwwwwk!!!"
<cue Kirk fight music>
by Bachelor boB January 17, 2012
Get the Vagina Distortion Field mug.A state in which an individual has no bearing of time whatsoever. Can be caused by long periods of drinking, heavy drinking, concussions, coma, deep sleeps, or just general obliviousness.
After that 12th tequila shot I came to at my buddy's house in a state of complete temporal disorientation.
I jacked Mike in the head so hard he didn't know what day it was (temporal disorientation).
I jacked Mike in the head so hard he didn't know what day it was (temporal disorientation).
by testicles...that is all March 11, 2010
Get the temporal disorientation mug.At one time, before his traitorous cognitive decline, the Hitman in Chief was a most prolific and talented distortionist.
by Dr Bunnygirl September 27, 2019
Get the distortionist mug.When a Disney Princess creates chaos by showing she's not as pure as people think, she becomes a Discordian American Princess.
It also applies to any teenage girl or young woman who's had a wholesome, clean-cut image that suddenly changes when she does something shocking.
It also applies to any teenage girl or young woman who's had a wholesome, clean-cut image that suddenly changes when she does something shocking.
Miley Ray Cyrus showed her smile as a Disney Princess. But her spiritual advisor Reverend Loveshade and photographer Annie Leibovitz changed all that. As soon as she posed naked in a sheet, and posed with her father Billy Ray Cyrus touching her inner thigh, she became a Discordian American Princess!
Also Britney Spears, Lindsey Lohan, Emily Sander aka Zoey Zane.
Also Britney Spears, Lindsey Lohan, Emily Sander aka Zoey Zane.
by Felicia Barton August 3, 2008
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is simply destruction
is simply destruction
Some slut: I will now preform the forbidden predominant space time continuum bending, soul snatching, reality distorting, quintuple ultra seal vacuum, Gwak gwak twister gobble double bubble blowie combo wombo beyond infinity procedure.
Everything: Dead
Everything: Dead
by RickyBobTosun May 5, 2021
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