Mattserbation 

When a guy called Matthew strangles his sausage.

Q. Matt’s been gone for awhile, what’s do you think he’s up to?
A. Mattserbation.

Mattserbation by Nick your stuff March 12, 2020

Management Masterbation 

When Management does something purely for their gratification that will produce nothing.

Team building exersizes, employee surveys are just a few examples of management masterbation.

Management Masterbation by jayray59 May 6, 2010

violent masterbation 

Masterbating in an extreme manner; associated with shaking, yelling, high speed, and possibly pain.

Josh had the greatest money-shots ever, but he died from too much violent masterbation.

violent masterbation by Bigg N October 27, 2006

Masterbation 

Jacking off
Whacking off
Beating off
Smacking the ho
Beating the pig
Whipping the Wayne
Slapping the salami

Whacking the wand
Punishing the pubs
Burning the beet
Beating the beef
Beating the meat
Jerking the jerky
Jerkin' the gherkin
Working the slave
Choking the chicken
Or
In redneck terms
Buttering the corn
Revving the engine
Or
Hunting the deer

I want to choke my chicken to nicki Minaj that's Masterbation

Masterbation by Big baller 2000 January 18, 2016

Mathsterbation 

Working really hard on a sum just for the feeling you get once you have solved it.

Guy #1 "OMG what's Elliott doing with his math book?"
Guy #2 "Eww! he's Mathsterbating!"
Guy #1 "So that's why he's sweating so much! Have fun with your Mathsterbation, Freak!"

Mathsterbation by Disco Alpingu April 1, 2007

Masterbation Coma 

It happens after a person has masterbated. Mainly happens with guys. The person goes to sleep and wakes up late. Typically if your going to take a nap after masterbating you wont wake up for several hours. They will fall asleep and sleep longer than intended. But of course its a great sleep. Thus the Masterbation Coma.

Steve: Hey, Whats up?

Jon: Nothin.

Steve: Wheres Bob?

Jon: Ehh hes in a Masterbation Coma right now, Lets go with out him.

Steve: Alright.

Masterbation Coma by GuyWithSomeKnowledge March 27, 2009

masterbation 

Karate teacher named Bation

Thank you for calming me down Master Bation

masterbation by Speas March 9, 2003