Juiced Jesus 

To be toned and muscular, while having long majestic hair and an almost Chuck Norris like beard. *Tattoos are not required, but recommended.*

Man, Opie from Sons of Anarchy really became a Juiced Jesus in season 4 of the show.

Juiced Jesus by Ulta-Thug MD. June 12, 2015

jesus juice 

wine

Jesus turned water into wine, wine represents or is(depending on your belief) the blood of Christ in Holy Communion ceremonies. Jesus Juice is the wine used for Holy Communion.

jesus juice by SenseNOTNonsense January 2, 2012

jesus juice 

the cheap wine that is served with the jesus crackers at communion

At the Christian Church, my friends and I were excited when the jesus juice got passed around

jesus juice by Ebag Nigel Gunther February 9, 2015

Jesus Juicer

A person obsessed with making organic fruit juice to sell at stands near children's schools. He spends hours obsessively manufacturing sweet fruit juices, in order to get the little kids hooked on it, so he can make money to support his religious causes.

How does Jimmy contribute so much to our church? Didn't you hear? He's a Jesus Juicer.

"Mommy, why does that guy always sell juice at that stand near out school?" "Darling, you stay away from him! He's a bad Jesus Juicer".

Jesus Juicer by SultrySloth April 22, 2019

jesus juice 

all alc mixed together

grabb all tht shit dude we are making jesus juice

jesus juice by jammers1001 December 31, 2008

jesus juice 

Yeah very funny. It's a terrible wine. They just call it that to make it sound glamorous or something. And the food stinks. Usually, this junk, you know? Even if you like to eat, you couldn’t eat it.

Yeah but sometimes, you see, it’s not that easy, you know what I mean? It's not all the cupcakes and Jesus juice like you might assume.

jesus juice by The Zug October 3, 2007

jesus juice 

jesus juice is a kool-aid but with poison in it. it is not coke with beer or any other alcohalic beverage in it.it was used by the leader of some guy using religion to get people to do what he wants.

noob:GUYS! THE HAVENS R COMING! DRINK THE JESUS JUICE!!
everyone:*dies of drinking jesus juice*

jesus juice by mewone November 23, 2009