Angsterbate 

(Ang-ster-beyt)verb, -bated, -bating.

To shamelessly angst over your life and how sad and pathetic it is for the sheer pleasure of it, often resulting in verbal or emotional climax.

"Man, last night I angsterbated. It felt soooo good."

"And she wouldn't stop angsterbating! Talk about verbal climax all over the keyboard!"

"Yep. I do angsterbate. Don't you?"

Angsterbate by Allison DC January 7, 2009

Angerbate 

to masturbate while really mad
to jerk off when pissed off

i angerbate when i get spammed in mortal kombat

"Dude where'd you go last night"

"i left to go angerbate, that one kid was pissing me off"

Angerbate by fuzzywuzzy686 September 5, 2011

Angerbate 

The act of masturbating with no respect for your genitalia.

perhaps by...

Male: Jerking off until your dick bleeds then slamming your balls in a door.

Female: A 40 grit sandpaper dildo.

"I havn't got laid in so long I don't think I'll ever get laid again... I'm gonna go home and Angerbate!"

Angerbate by dexredhead April 3, 2009

angsturbate

the act of pleasuring yourself in response to dark, intense, emotional stimuli; commonly found in anime fan-fiction communities.

She found intense pleasure knowing that Light fangirls would angsturbate furiously to her dark, intense, Death Note fic.

angsturbate by talonsage January 14, 2009

assterbater 

A one legged man whore who masturbates other men in their asshole's! And/or any man who uses another mans ass to masturbate.

Me: Hey John stop being an assterbater you gay fuck!:)

Kevin: No fuck that, I like it when he uses me to assterbate.

Me: YALL BETTER CALM DOWN WITH THAT SHIT!

assterbater by Jer and Ca$H February 28, 2008

Absterbate 

to exercise one's abdominal muscles excessively

Joe: "How was your work out?"

Bob: "Oh, man, I absterbated until I core-gasmed"

Absterbate by Adam Snider February 11, 2009

Assterbate 

Masturbating analy. Fingers or the daring fist(s). More unique rituals include feet and possibly penii (penis plural).

For more asstastic fun, see poopy chopsticks

"Oh man that assterbation was awesome."
"yea my foot is brown!"

Assterbate by BobbyZ December 19, 2003