political masturbation 

1. slang. Term used to describe any political process that serves only as a distraction from more important matters.

The Senate's ongoing debate over the Flag Burning Amendment is a great example of political masturbation.

political masturbation by Rich C 123 July 8, 2006

Off the grid masturbation 

Solo masturbation that occurs without use of the internet, computers/devices, or television. Such as with magazines, imagination, memories, paper photos etc.

I engaged in some off the grid masturbation when the power went out.

Off the grid masturbation by IW64 April 18, 2019

object-oriented masturbation 

the stimulation or manipulation of one’s own ego by way of using object-oriented code in places where it has no advantage instead resulting in unnecessary complication and bloat.

Objective: Sum two numbers and print the result in the format “The answer is: X” where X is the sum of the two numbers:

Object-oriented masturbation solution:

function MathLib(){

this.answer = null;
}

MathLib.prototype.sum = function (x,y){

this.answer = x + y;
}

MathLib.prototype.getAnswer = function(){

return this.answer;
}

function Printer(){

this.preText = ”;
}

Printer.prototype.setPreText = function(str){

this.preText = str;
}

Printer.prototype.out = function (str){

document.write(this.preText + str);
}

// To run
var math = new MathLib();
var print = new Printer();
math.sum(1,1);
print.setPreText(‘The answer is: ‘);
print.out(math.answer);

object-oriented masturbation by a304681 March 7, 2010

masturbation probation 

When one goes an extended period of time without jerking off. Most will give in to willpower and natural urges, but the courageous and strong can sometimes go for days or weeks without choking the chicken. See The Contest (Seinfeld).

"Yo dude, check out this porn video I found!"
"Nah man, not tonight. I've decided to go on masturbation probation."

masturbation probation by Gayaka June 20, 2009

preventative masturbation 

VERB. Masturbating so as to prevent wet dreams and/or untimely hard ons.

Dude, I can't believe you had a wet dream last night! You really should start using preventative masturbation.

preventative masturbation by batman1234567654321 April 5, 2010

Masturbation 

Masturbation is the act of fingering yourself until you cum

Harley wanted to masturbate so she got under the covers and pulled her trousers down, licked her fingers and started tapping the area round her clit. After 10 seconds of that, she started lightly running circles round her clit, gradually getting faster and faster until she was flicking it back and forth, shivering with pleasure. She could feel the sticky cum on her fingers and closed her eyes tight, imagining her crush doing this to her, she started moaning quietly, getting louder and louder until she had an orgasm. OHHHHHHHHHHH she screamed, shaking and dripping wet. Her legs stiffened and she felt so good she was struggling to breathe. She stopped and panted for 20 seconds, her fingers still on her dripping wet clit.

After, she stood up, shaking, her pussy throbbing. She took all her clothes off, put on some arousing music and got back under the quilt. She stroked her huge breasts, squeezing her tits. She started making her way down, until she reached her pussy again, this time leaving the clit to throb and shoved her middle finger down her hole, reaching her g-spot she’s teamed with pleasure AHHHHHHHHH she had another orgasm, thrusting her finger in and out faster faster imagining it was a big dick. She grabbed her thigh with her other hand and then with the other, pulling her finger out, dripping with cum she lay there, panting and shaking and went to sleep, naked.

She thought it was the best masturbation ever

Masturbation by Bisexual idiot May 15, 2022

guided masturbation

To have someone tell you what to do when you’re touching yourself. They control your movements and direct you on what exactly to do in order to cum.

Jerry and I were having phone sex and we decided to do guided masturbation on me.

guided masturbation by ribbit January 28, 2019