Blue bowels 

Inspired by “blue balls,” this term refers to the feeling you get when you are starving at a restaurant and see the waiter approaching with food only to pass your table and bring it to other customers.

“Omg our food is coming!”
“Fuck, it’s not ours. I have blue bowels.”

Blue bowels by Theboyssssssss February 27, 2022

my bowels are betraying me 

this basically means that you're on the verge of shitting your pants or you're currently having explosive diarrhea

"wyd"
"my bowels are betraying me"

my bowels are betraying me by ZeekeyPooPie February 20, 2025

Guardian of the royal bowels 

Another term for a royal physician, or doctor

Found on Wikipedia’s timeline of medicine and medical technology that discusses an inscription Egyptian physician known as Iry who was also considered the eye-doctor of the palace, palace physician of the belly, and he who prepares the important medicine and knows the juices of the body.

For a non-doctor example and a similar job, see: Groom of the Stool

King Arthur: Ugh, my stomach is bothering me again.
Sir Henry: Should I call for the Guardian of the Royal Bowels then, sire?

King Arthur: Do it quickly, I don’t have all day! I have a kingdom to rule over.

Guardian of the royal bowels by Reshithewhite February 27, 2024

Spiritual Bowel Syndrome 

(of a person on LSD) a rumbling or dull discomfort in the bowels indicating that one has to poop; an experience entirely different from that of the Vyvanse cleanse

"We need to get on our way to the creek before we come up."
"Wait... Oh, man, I think I'm already there. I've got spiritual bowel syndrome."
"Shit."

Spiritual Bowel Syndrome by Kashmir Cardigan August 26, 2017

bowelvoiding 

To have a bowel movement thereby emptying the colon.
In otherwords, take a dump.

One always feels better after bowelvoiding.

bowelvoiding by jpg3 December 2, 2011

Progressive Bowel Movement 

Liberals & Libtards that subscribe to the idea & notion of "Progressive Politics" and are still hurt & having a nuclear melt-down because their girl sea-hag Hillary lost the 2016 Presidential election. At present, the aforementioned "movement" can be considered circling the bowl as it were. (Toilet flushing noise....)

You can't or won't admit that you're a regular Libtard but call yourself a Progressive instead? Funny, the progressive bowel movement is going the way of the dodo and printed newspaper there buddy!

Progressive Bowel Movement by SwimSomewhereElse February 7, 2017

bowel towels

Toilet paper.

Grab me a few pages of the New York Times, please. We're out of bowel towels again.

bowel towels by ICSHialeah August 10, 2009