assmonger

One who sells donkeys on the street.

A lowly assmonger cannot make enough money to support a family.

assmonger by BlastMaster May 16, 2003

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ass monkey

An awkward neighbor or boyfriend/girlfriend in your dorm who invites himself/herself to meals, parties, and other social events. Ass monkeys attach themselves to specific groups or individuals by seeing that other individuals are able to invite themselves to events but still be welcomed companions.

Sketchball A: We need to go out the side door. If we don't your ass monkey will come with us to dinner.

Sketchball B: Tru that 'ho. I don't want my ass monkey fucking up my Pimp Committee.

Mutual Friend of Sketchballs A and B: I swear Sketchball B. If your ass monkey comes to one more meal with us I'm going to jump off a bridge.

ass monkey by I-Heart-Shiksas January 8, 2008

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talking ass monkey

(n). One who drones on and on about his/her problems; a non-listener, talks loudly and fast, often very opinionated.

At the cocktail party, the talking ass monkey told me everything I never wanted to know. "What are you, some kind of arrogant talking ass monkey?"

talking ass monkey by Dave Hultgren February 23, 2004

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Ass Monkey

A person who, for all intents and purposes, has never learned a god-damned thing. One who maintains a blissful ignorance of the world that simultaneously inspires amusement, disgust and despair in all who are unlucky enough to encounter him.

Did you see those ass-monkeys on Jaywalking last night? Ha-ha, they're so dumb...I think I'll kill myself.

Ass Monkey by Petros March 10, 2004