disasturbation 

Masturbation...with disastrous results.

Theres no such thing as the verb, "disasturbate" because you never plan it. Disasturbation is the result of a failed attempt. Disasturbation just happens, and boy does it suck when it does.

disasturbation by cakeofages October 18, 2008

disasturbation 

To masturbate during a disaster, or when normal masturbation turns disastrous.

Masturbation turns into disasturbation if you're arrested for doing it in public.

disasturbation by eosbnnaarsh November 8, 2011

disasturbating 

Disasturbating: To revel in doom-mongering predictions about the future of mankind. A particular predilection of left-leaning environmentalists who claim we are but 30 years away from living in Cormac McCarthy's 'The Road', without radical change that is diametrically incompatible with how people actually want to live, and that is completely futile at the individual level anyway. There's also a right-wing version that thinks gay marriage and universal healthcare will somehow bring about the end of days.

"Oh my God, Peak Oil! Polar Ice Caps melting! Unchecked population growth! Stockpile canned goods and a shotgun, the apocalypse is coming!"
"FFS, stop disasturbating."

disasturbating by OnlyMe! November 8, 2013

disasterbating

The act of masturbating violently, perhaps using objects that inflict pain on ones genitals, in order to achieve sexual pleasure.

1:"i was disasterbating yesterday with a a piece of plywood and i cant get the splinters out of my dick"

2:"i slammed my dick in the desk drawer yesterday when i was disasterbating and it is crooked now"

disasterbating by Stretch911 April 19, 2011

disasturbation 

The act of masturbation with such ferocity that you actually rip your penis off.

"Dear god - I have ripped my own penis off. I must tell no one about this distasturbation mishap."

disasturbation by jason November 20, 2004

Disasterbating

Rapidly masturbating in the event of a disaster

-What's Kevin doing with his 10 minutes before the nuclear bomb?
-Oh, he's Disasterbating.

Disasterbating by The Kiel October 1, 2013

Disasturbation 

When you feel the sudden need to 'choke yo chicken' when faced with almost certain death.

"Oh no the zombies have broken in through my back doors ;)"
*explosive disasturbation*

Disasturbation by Teenage mutant ginga penis November 22, 2014