Legend has it that tucked deep in the foothills of northern New England are two men who have achieved the ultimate level of manliness. It is said that when God said “Let there be light!” They responded with “say please”. They can both speak braille, do a wheelie on a unicycle and dribble a bowling ball. One of them once won a game of connect four in three moves while the other slammed a revolving door. They are also the real reason that Waldo is hiding. Imagine men whose jawlines could have chiseled Mount Rushmore and whose abs you could do your laundry on. All of these impressive accolades aside, they were able to accomplish all of this with a mere dash of Brut...The Essence of Man... across their chins... chins that I might add that they shave with chainsaws.
Oh my goodness have you heard of the Brut Brothers? I’ve heard they have managed to make a 70 year old aftershave sexy again! I’ve also heard they’re like a sexy mix between a lumber jack and Burt Reynolds when he was in his prime.
Pheromone emitted by Cheetahs of the Law Enforcement variety. A fully developed L.E. Cheetah's pheromones are impervious to normal barriers such as brick, wood, metal, and glass. Brut-Spice is used to attract possible mates, not for the purposes of procreation but for the act of sexual intercourse alone (although reproduction is an common unexpected and unwanted, occurrence).
"We are observing the L.E. Cheetah in its natural habitat - the convenience store. You can now see preparing to emit his Brut-Spice by changing his posture to an upright and alert stance. He will this stance until obtaining direct eye contact with his target and possible future mate. You can be certain of Brute-Spice emission when viewing the target by the dilation of the pupils and erectness of the female target's nipples."
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