tactical excuse

An excuse or set of excuses that removes or points the blame of poor performance or poor planning on ones equipment, other operators, or acts of god such as weather.

Operator 1: Hey what seems to be the issue, you were just laughing at how easy this was going to be a few days ago?
Operator 2: The sun is in my eyes, and its so cold I can't complete simple tasks, but mostly I'm hungry and when that happens I get dizzy. Any other time non of this would not be an issue.
Operator 1: Damn, your full of tactical excuses... go change your manpon.

tactical excuse by trevp April 15, 2015

sunday market excuse 

A lame excuse to get out of a meaningful event, usually caused by years of spousal control.

Sorry can't make it this Sunday lads, need to get supplies from the market. I know, standard sunday market excuse.

sunday market excuse by jimbob77 January 8, 2019

Kevin Chin Excuse

Just the stupidest most absurd excuses that anyone could make. It's actually so unbelievable it just makes me question how do you even think of these excuses. It's harder to think of these excuses than to actually pass the HSC.

Person 1: Stop throwing the game
Person 2: Oh, its just that I'm not sitting cross-legged on my specific office chair, and that someone was walking behind me.
Person 1: Mate stop making Kevin Chin Excuses

Kevin Chin Excuse by cootiespoggersbutthole October 26, 2020

flimsy fucking excuse

What Protestants are, essentially. The "faith" they believe in no more than a crock of shit passed off as a religion.

Protestants are a flimsy fucking excuse for a religion.

flimsy fucking excuse by GuidoPosse69 May 13, 2005

Bike Excuse 

An overused excuse that hides a person's true intentions.

(Coined from Pokemon, where Misty always followed Ash until he "paid her back for wrecking her bike". She would use this "Bike Excuse" whenever confronted about why she still followed Ash, when in reality it was because she loved him.)

Person A: For the hundredth time, I'm sorry for barging in on you, I was looking for the bathroom.

Person B: Oh, don't give me that Bike Excuse, we all know it was because you wanted to see me change.

Bike Excuse by Daniel Wagner December 29, 2007

The Six T Excuse

Too Tired To Tag The Timer

Can be used to describe how tired you were as you try to explain to someone else that you set your alarm but forgot to turn it on.

(Note: Good for cutting tension if your boss is mad at you for being late for work)

Boss: You have five seconds to give me a legit reason as to why you were late for work before I fire your ass!
You: (Use the Six T Excuse! Use the Six T Excuse!) Sorry boss, I guess I was Too Tired To Tag The Timer
Boss: *Smirk* Aww, you're lucky I like you! Now get outta my site.
You: Yessir!(You mean I'm not fired?...Sweet deal!)

The Six T Excuse by PornSoldier December 15, 2006

The Big Excuse 

The Virus as avoidance mechanism.

“I hated all those bleeping webinars,” snaps Micro, “and the boss would always check the Zoom chat to see who actively attended. Now I beg off with The Big Excuse, saying it’s long-haul and I’m too foggy to grok what’s going on. She was sensitive about it. Ha!”

“Swim meets always drove me bonkers,” says Bailey. “But Cypress cried if I didn’t go – until I duped her with The Big Excuse, saying that mommies who’d had Delta had to stay home and rest, and nanny Martha could support a little princess’s backstroke just fine.”

The Big Excuse by Hifalutin! February 5, 2022