Houdini Torpedo 

A Houdini Torpedo is when you drop a Deuce in the toilet bowl and the trajectory and velocity of the fecal matter leaving ones anus causes the elongated mass of shit to disappear out the drain pipe without leaving any evidence of its existence in the bowl.

Honey, you won't believe what just happened, I took a crap and after wiping my shit stained ass , I placed the used toilet paper in the bowl only to realize I produced a Houdini Torpedo, it was like majic , my shit had completely disappeared ! I

Houdini Torpedo by TheJetPilot October 25, 2016

Double Torpedo 

The act of two people simultaneously dropping loads into a toilet. The initiator, or the first mate as they are known, sits at the rear of the toilet seat spreading their legs as wide apart as possible. The second participant, or deck hand as they are known, squats over the top allowing both members of the Double Torpedo to “dump” at the same time. Extreme care must be taken when performing this bathroom stunt, accidents are common.

First mate: "Dude I really need to shit"
Deck Hand: "Me too man"
First mate: "Hows this going to work with only one toilet?"
Deck Hand: "Double Torpedo"
First Mate: "Best idea you've ever had"

Double Torpedo by Ginge the Baron October 28, 2008

jalapeno torpedo 

Steaming fecal matter ejected from ones anus into the pipeline underground

I just dispatched a spicy hot jalapeno torpedo into the bowels of the underworld after eating three enchiladas from taco hell 🔥

jalapeno torpedo by Jimbo Jones the third 2.0 December 21, 2022

TARPer

A fan of the Toni and Ryan Podcast.

Person 1: "Hey mate, did you know there's a new podcast called the Toni and Ryan Podcast?

Person 2: Oh fuck me, I've been a TARPer since the baby names episode

TARPer by imthatpansexualbitch December 2, 2021

Turdette 

1. Person is the female version of “Turd.”
2. Person whom is a girl (typically an 18-25 yr old) suffering from early life crisis.
3. Person exhibits weak excessive compulsive lying.
4. Person takes too much pride in itself and becomes consumed in conceitedness.
5. Person alienates all or not most of her former best or mutual friends.
6. Person takes care of “Turd” without nonstop sense of self-respect.
7. Person takes care of “Turd’s offspring” as if they were her own.

Turdette: “Turd” is so like super fit you guys! Those ripped biceps of his and those washboard abs of steel. (has a keggar where his belly should be and flabby arms that touches the floor)

Turdette: No you guys, no one knows we are together. (her coworkers are double her age, takes time off the same time as Turd, even a 1st grader can piece that together)

Turdette: *shakes hands rapidly in the air* We’re not having sexual intercourse! (PAP tests are for sexually active individuals not for a specific STD verification test or just because your health insurance is coming to an end)

Turdette: You guys don’t understand, you’ve never been in a relationship with a guy. (majority of her friends are either dating or been in relationships for years)

Turdette by EmancipateTheChildren December 4, 2010

torpedo's touch 

the utmost of pleasurable pain,

and every servant boys worst nightmare..

Socrates, let me homosexual you (aka torpedo's touch)
servant boy, NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! not the torpedo......
(violent screams can be heard thru ought the pleasure chambers)

torpedo's touch by l1111on April 24, 2017

TurdPerfect 

The old computer program suite from Corel that only stick-in-mud ancient Lawyers use. It's a royal PITA for convert from, especially when complex formatting is used

Dammit, another TurdPerfect document to convert....when will these damn Lawyers enter this Century??

TurdPerfect by The White Morpheus October 31, 2013