Buttering the Crumpets 

When you cum while pooping at the same time and the cum is spread on the poop before it hits the water. The penis may also be used as a buttering knife.

Yo' Derek what are you going to do later?
Probably just go home, drink a few beers, and try to butter the crumpets again.
What? Yo, buttering the crumpets is easier when you don't drink.

Buttering the Crumpets by poopbutter August 21, 2013

Toasting the crumpets 

The act of finger poppin another mans ass hole with the doors locked and the lights off

Aye! Are you in there toasting the crumpets with another man?

Toasting the crumpets by Hans00 August 1, 2015

Humpin' the crumpet 

1. Light-hearted joking
2. Lube-less anal sex
Closest synonym: joshin'

Don't get offended, bro. I was just humpin' the crumpet.

I didn't mean to kill your [mom] - I was humpin' her crumpet and my dick stabbed all the way through.

Humpin' the crumpet by thescholar(i read dostoyevsky) December 16, 2018

Kicking the crumbs

Kicking the crumbs or kicking a crumb is a Massachusetts term for jerking off or beating your meat.

Mom I was just kicking the crumbs off my bed

Kicking the crumbs by Ultra wide river December 15, 2022

Crumple the carrier bag 

To have a posh wank with a Durex extra safe. Known thus due to the noise that you will make.

I got busted twice last nite crumpling the carrier bag, shocker.

Crumple the carrier bag by Jibber June 13, 2005

Crumpets with the Queen 

The act of engaging in anal sex while there is a Corgi watching.

When the dog walked into the room, gay sex turned into crumpets with the queen.

Crumpets with the Queen by Aschnied August 22, 2012

crumbs in the butter 

Fast food remnants that get lodged in unwanted crevices while having anal sex in a vehicle, typically while wearing a Snuggie.

I was really going at my wife's ass in the car the other night, wearing a zebra Snuggie, until the crumbs in the butter chafed my dick.

crumbs in the butter by analymouse January 21, 2010