I'm Straighter than the pole your mom dances on

Extremely good comeback for anyone, whether its a bully, friend or someone online calling you "gay" or anything similar in an attempt to offend and provoke you. If only I came up with this insult when an old friend called me a gay person.

Person 1: Why are you touching me? Are you gay?
Person 2: Bro, I'm Straighter than the pole your mom dances on
Person 1: (Speechless)

I'm Straighter than the pole your mom dances on by Al_000 May 27, 2023

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Tainting the Pole

When the penis slips out during intercourse and ram rods into the lady (or bro) taint, resulting in a painful bend.

My favorite porn search is "tainting the pole."

I had a really good time with your mom last night, until she tainted the pole. Ouch!

Tainting the Pole by Beaflord September 17, 2018

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Smoke the pole

Slang term for a blow job!

Excuse my young lady, do you smoke the pole?

Smoke the pole by Wheatamus Prime January 12, 2009

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keep her off the pole

Offering a woman other options -- any options -- to secure her financial livelihood rather than resorting to working as a stripper, or other acts of desperation in the sex industry (prostitution, relying on a Sugar Daddy, working in porno, posing as a nude model)

I gave the girl a job cleaning my house...anything to keep her off the pole!
After my favorite ho' went to rehab and got clean, I had to help find the girl some work -- anything to keep her off the pole!
REFERENCE IN CONTEMPORARY CULTURE --
Chris Rock has a comedy routine in which he says:
"if your daughters a stripper, you fucked up." and he adds in reference to his own baby daughter, "my only goal in life is to keep her off the pole!" Check it on YouTube

keep her off the pole by henryblue2u September 14, 2013