Cancer Muggle
Cancer Muggle by trashmouth_tozier January 4, 2019
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Stripper Mugged
When you go alone to a strip club with way to much money and a stripper talks you into going to the VIP room. One hour later you are out 800 bucks and only got three lap dances! You got stripper mugged!
Ted was on a business trip by himself and had to spend the night at a motel. He decided to go to a strip club and have a few drinks to unwind. Thirty minutes and two beers later he was enamored by a stripper and started up a conversation. Next thing he knows, he is walking out of the club broke and pissed off because the bitch talked him into the VIP where she proceeded to milk only his wallet. Ted realized that if he would have had a wing man he would not have been so dumb. Always go to the club with your boys or you may get stripper mugged.
Stripper Mugged by golite January 16, 2009
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Muggle Quidditch
The most awesome sport you will ever play. It's similar to the version of Quidditch played in the Harry Potter books and movies, but made to be played in real life. It's played mostly by people who played actual sports in high school, but decide to be more nerdy in college.
Basically, the rules are the same as the version in the books. There are two teams of seven players. Three are Chasers, whose job it is to take the Quaffle up the field and score through the hoops. Two are Beaters, who take the Bludgers and beat people on the other team. Then there is the Keeper, who guards the hoops and starts the play. Lastly, there is the Seeker, whose job it is to catch the Snitch and end the game.
The differences are that players don't actually fly, but run around with brooms in between their legs. The Quaffle is a volleyball, the Bludgers are dodge balls that are thrown by the Beaters, the hoops are made out of PBC pipes and hoola-hoops, and the Snitch is a person. When you are hit with a Bludger, you are "beat" and have to run back to your hoops before continuing to play. To catch the Snitch, the Seeker has to pull a tennis ball stuffed in a sock stuck in the back of the Snitch's pants. And instead of earning 150 points for catching the Snitch, the team only gets 30.
It's a full contact sport, with a lot of tackling and no protective padding. It's also replacing ultimate frisbee at most colleges.
Basically, the rules are the same as the version in the books. There are two teams of seven players. Three are Chasers, whose job it is to take the Quaffle up the field and score through the hoops. Two are Beaters, who take the Bludgers and beat people on the other team. Then there is the Keeper, who guards the hoops and starts the play. Lastly, there is the Seeker, whose job it is to catch the Snitch and end the game.
The differences are that players don't actually fly, but run around with brooms in between their legs. The Quaffle is a volleyball, the Bludgers are dodge balls that are thrown by the Beaters, the hoops are made out of PBC pipes and hoola-hoops, and the Snitch is a person. When you are hit with a Bludger, you are "beat" and have to run back to your hoops before continuing to play. To catch the Snitch, the Seeker has to pull a tennis ball stuffed in a sock stuck in the back of the Snitch's pants. And instead of earning 150 points for catching the Snitch, the team only gets 30.
It's a full contact sport, with a lot of tackling and no protective padding. It's also replacing ultimate frisbee at most colleges.
John: Hey, I go to a communications college and am a big fan of Harry Potter! I want to meet people and stay active, and it would be awesome to do at the same time.
Dan: Dude, you should play Muggle Quidditch!
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Jared: Aw, man, that game was rough! I got beat five times in a row, and got tackled by the Keeper before I could score! Then, the other team's Seeker got the Snitch before we could get 30 points up.
Fred: Wait, do you play Muggle Quidditch?
Jared: Yay! It's like the cooler version of rugby!
Dan: Dude, you should play Muggle Quidditch!
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Jared: Aw, man, that game was rough! I got beat five times in a row, and got tackled by the Keeper before I could score! Then, the other team's Seeker got the Snitch before we could get 30 points up.
Fred: Wait, do you play Muggle Quidditch?
Jared: Yay! It's like the cooler version of rugby!
Muggle Quidditch by george weasley March 28, 2012