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I'm a 20-something Hispanic man who has uncontrollable lust for women who spend over 100 dollars on collecting waifus and hours and realized that he can't collect a certain waifu due to random number generator 

Translates to I'm Josie, and 100 dollars is an understatement.
I'm a 20-something Hispanic man who has uncontrollable lust for women who spend over 100 dollars on collecting waifus and hours and realized that he can't collect a certain waifu due to random number generator is something you wouldn't say on a first date.

Fuck certain country week 

From December 21st to December 27th every country that use to belong to The United Kingdom/British Empire will revert back to being British but Parliament will be non-existent
It's "Fuck certain country week" so the British Empire is back but we have no laws so it's the Purge

A Certain Elephant 

A celebrated, tri-weekly cartoon focusing on the lives of several elephants. It has been hailed for using repetition, irony, and smoking elephants to great comedic success. It is known as A.C.E. to its biggest fans.

Check it out, yo:

http://www.acertainelephant.com/ace-58.html#
"Man, I just rofled for like 5 minutes after reading A Certain Elephant today!"
A Certain Elephant by Graham_965 February 12, 2009

hurtin' for certain 

Someone who is hurtin' or appears to be hurtin, for certain.
Devo, you look like shit man. Yeah, I had a rough one last night. Pounded 'er back all night dude, really. Yeah definitely hurtin' for certain. Ouuuuuu

A Certain Scientific Railgun 

(Toaru Kagaku no Railgun とある 科学 の られぐん)  An amazing anime series that follows the lives of a few main characters (Misaka-san, Shirai-san, Uiharu-san, Saten-san. As a sequel to A Certain Magical Index two of the main characters were side characters in the former series. Misaka Mikoto (main character) is an ojou-sama and a senior student at the prestigious Tokiwadai Academy. Misaka is a highly skilled student and is the third of seven level 5's in the city. The show is mostly based on the students who have varying degrees of abilities all of which can be proven scientifically.
Fan: "OMFG A CERTAIN SCIENTIFIC RAILGUN'S ON!!! GET the F*** out of my way..."
Douchetard: "WTF??"
Fan: *turns around and pops a cap in douchtard's ass*

Bi-certain 

Someone's sexual orientation is without question bisexual.
If you ask me Billy's latest escapade cements that his Bi-certainty .
Bi-certain by ExcessWetness May 30, 2016