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the paper 

Shorthand for newspaper. Bet you thought it was something else. Get your head out of the gutter, bro.
You read the paper? No? Bet you can't even read.
the paper by signalizing July 12, 2013

The paper, the paper 

Money. Green. A lot of cash.
The paper, the paper by Alberto Luna December 21, 2004

The Paper Shreds 

Small, painful paper cuts one recieves from the act of sexual intercourse with a book, or magazine.

synonym- The Shreds
(7:25:26 PM) Andrew: you read me like a book
(7:25:38 PM) Adam: i fucked your mom like a book
(7:25:50 PM) Andrew: u didn't get the paper shreds did you???
The Paper Shreds by Wallnerboy October 30, 2007

Read the Paper 

A euphemism for the action 'to chunder' or 'to vomit' due to the influence of alcohol or drugs.
'Mate where did Jimmy go last night? He was plastered..'
'Went to read the paper...'
'Did he read it thoroughly?'
'Front to back mate'
Read the Paper by Fullers February 21, 2009

down to the paper 

phrase: First mentioned by Marion Abbott, the parisian designer, in a crack-house in Paris in the early 21st century, "I'm down to the paper," or, more colloquially "M' down to tha papes," is the call to arms for when a freshly rolled spliff is beckoned for.
"I'm down to the paper. You know what's up?"

flapping the paper asshole 

A phrase used to describe the act of publicly announcing personal and/or private information in an inappropriate setting.
A friend of mine had anal with a fat chick, and then by way of flapping the paper asshole let everyone know about it at the bowling alley. He received a lot of awkward stares.....