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sadsturbating 

The act of masturbating while in a state of melancholy.
Steve's girlfriend broke up with him last week, since then he's been sadsturbating.
sadsturbating by Ratung July 11, 2014

sadsturbating 

sad-stur-bae-shun verb to masturbate out of pure sadness
"i was up all night sadsturbating cause I my gf left me"

Saturbating 

The act of spending an exorbent amount of time looking at ones own personal accomplishments statistics.

Often a co-worker who is always checking out their own sales numbers or sales stats.

Or the friend who wants to see their all the stats at the end of your favorite multi-player video game(i.e. Halo, Gears of War, Rock Band, etc.).
Joe: Alright lets go on to the next round of the game...

Frank: Wait dude I want to see how many head shots I got that round.... Woa I killed Bill 18 times...Jim you suck....

Joe: Alright Frank quit saturbating lets go...
Saturbating by munciemike May 23, 2009

Sadsturbation 

"My girlfriend broke up with me, so im left to sadsturbation."

sadsturbation 

Masturbation while in a state of emotional discord as a futile means to pacify pain.
You remember that weird, but kinda hot sadsturbation scene with Naomi Watts in Mulholland Drive?
sadsturbation by RoniNix September 18, 2011

slasturbating 

Jimmy fell asleep with his dick in his hand and woke up with semen all over him and exclaimed, "Shit, I was slasturbating again!"
slasturbating by shittydrumsalot October 26, 2009