Plastiocene
/PLAS-tee-oh-seen/ (noun)
The current unofficial epoch in Earth's geologic timeline, marked by the
overwhelming presence of plastic in every ecosystem, organism, and orifice. A
synthetic age of denial, brought to you by disposable culture, microwave convenience, and Karenian rituals of consumption.
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🗿Definition:
An era defined by polymer saturation—where rain, breast milk, snowflakes, sea salt, and even your dreams test positive for microplastics. In the Plastiocene, the planet is a landfill with Wi-Fi. Humans are host organisms for garbage with credit scores.
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🧽 Used in a sentence:
> “We’re not in the
Anthropocene anymore, grandma—we’re deep in the Plastiocene. Eat your microplastic cornflakes and say thank you.”