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The Squits

Terrible diarrhea that takes the form of a chunky, hot liquid gushing from your anus. May be caused by a horrific stomach bug, killer disease or vindaloo. Often accompanied by stomach cramps and a sinking feeling of hopelessness.

Not to be confused with explosive diarrhea which erupts with force, the squits are more of a steady trickle.

If you have the squits you will need to confine yourself to the toilet for at least 24 hours armed with a good supply of toilet paper, some Gatorade (for rehydration purposes) and some porno to stop yourself getting bored during the long shitting sessions.
Man: Hey Tony, where have you been for the last week?

Tony: Oh yeah, I came down with a terrible case of the squits. My arse feels like a tattered sleeve from all the wiping.

Man: Ew.
The Squits by tonymcguff May 14, 2010

Splitsville Fountain

A sexual maneuver wherein Person A gives Person B a blowjob, leans in for a kiss, then spits the cum into Person B's mouth without warning.
Laurel gave me a Splitsville Fountain last night. It was really weird, but in a way... kinda hot?
1. the act of paying half of something.
2. a shared cost
1. Hey Neil, let's go splitsies on a case of beer.

2. Kate, you still need to pay your splitsies from last weekend.
splitsies by Katie McIntyre December 3, 2005

Rudy Bananas Splits 

The headline in all of the major newspapers when Rudy Giuliani defects to Moscow to live next door to Edward Snowden.
I thought I was dreaming when I woke up and read the shocking headline, “Rudy Bananas Splits.”
The Squits: to have liquid poop accompanied by a burning feeling in the ring Leaving you feeling some what emotional and vulnerable for the remainder of the day
Gee coach i cant play in the game tonight on account of i got the Squits

or

Soz lads cant go to the pub cos iv got the squits
Squits by Barry Pap April 29, 2003
Definition of someone who is inebriated due to excessive alcohol and/or drug consumption resulting in their eyes to resemble slits.
1) Hey slitsy, how about another drink?
2) You should have seen him, he was completed slitsed over
Slitsy by Janszoon July 6, 2003