Noun. A person who is incapable of figuring out how to get from point A to B without instructions like "turn at the pretty blue house". A person who does not know which direction is North. A person who points in the wrong direction when they are talking about a place. Combination of "geography" and "retard". A person, who when you tell them something is on the "Southeast corner", they respond with "english please". A person who thinks you are a genius because you know highway directions because of their number.
David is such a geotard, he lives in Florida, but refers to everything in the rest of the US as "down there".
If I have to tell her how to get there one more time, I'm going to kick her in her geotard ass!
GoonTard - a Portmanteau of Gooner and Retarded. Used to refer to a Chronic Compulsive Masturbator who jerks off for hours and hours and hours every day. He eventually becomes a stupid gooner and looks like he's retarded because his brain has shut down all but core functions. Most guys consider them Idiots and Morons because they have no goals or ambition other than to masturbate all day long, usually on the internet where anyone can see them.
Tim: Hey Ryan, I heard your older brother is a GoonTard
Ryan: Yeah, he's a Total GoonTard.
Tim: Does he really do nothing but masturbate all day?
Ryan: Yeah, mom and dad have given up on him. He hasn't left his sroom in 3 months, so they just slide a plate of food in there once a day.
Tim: Sorry bro.
Ryan: Yeah Me too. I'm afraid I'm gonna become a GoonTard too.
Tina is godtarded. She told me, "Dinosaurs are a trick of the devil because the earth is only 6,000 years old." I think she was home-schooled that way.