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x427's definitions

Fat Fat Fatty Fat Walrus

A complete waste of skin and air, has limited social skills and is the ultimate in minimum effort and minimum achievement. Is know to have a BMI that would give the equivalent mass of a small moon. Often uses the alias of Bladezz online and can regularly be found stalking the forums of 4chan searching for fellow neeks and teen to gawp at.
Jack is such a 'fat fat fatty fat walrus' man, we need to do something about it asap.
by x427 February 8, 2021
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Caveey

The kind of man who uses incense at home for none religious/spiritual purposes.

The kind of man who finds exhibitionism the ultimate turn on.
Jack: Have you heard about Andy recently?

Rich: Yeah, he's become a real Caveey recently.
by x427 February 8, 2021
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The Lawrence Paradox

When you ask your friend to make a choice between 2 things that make no difference to you or your group and they say “I don’t mind” or “I don’t care, you choose”. This results in an argument trying to make them choose before someone eventually gets pissed off enough to make the choice for them.
Joe: “ Hey Liam do you want to play out wide or in the centre on pro clubs tonight?”
Liam: “I don’t care, I’ll play wherever after everyone else has chosen.”
Danny: “Oh shit you shouldn’t have asked him that, you’ve now entered ‘The Lawrence Paradox’.”
by x427 March 5, 2018
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Yoghurt Overlord

The ruler of all dairy. He’s the guy you go to with any kind of milky queries.

The omnipotent Fifa Pro Clubs CAM, matched only by ‘Keith’ and ‘The Gargoyle’ renown for the 4 bar screamer.

Goes about their daily business under a pseudonym that usually adopts the initials CM, can often be found frequenting the nightclubs of Essex
Liam: “Damn it, I don’t know whether to use Yoghurt or Creme to counter this chilli sauce”.

Danny: “Have you consulted the Yoghurt Overlord?”

Liam: “Nah where can I find them?”

Matt: “It’s past 9pm so Subby-Z is your best bet.”
by x427 October 12, 2021
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xSpudhead

All round Top Bloke and Mariners Ultra.

Rules his shed domain with the iron fisted nature of a fascist dictator but is a must have in any friendship group.
Can regularly be found prowling the isles of his local budget superstore for Karens and other ne'er-do-wells. As such their alter-ego of PC Spud is well placed to clamp down hard on idiots and pisstakers.

Is known to have a fear of Cats and Aeroplanes, an intolerance of bullshit and a loathing of Scunthorpe.

Infamously got Stuart Pearce to sign a Fanta bottle, so as to not “dirty” the shirt he was wearing.
Jack: “Help I have a problem that I can’t solve and I can’t find Vanilla Ice or the A-Team… what am I going to do?”

Richard: “Call xSpudhead he’ll always have you covered.”
by x427 November 28, 2021
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McCarthy Standard Time

The time difference from your chosen time zone (BST, EST, ECT. etc) to the one being used by a terrible time keeper. Usually meaning they will vastly underestimate the time they need to complete a task or overestimate how fast they can travel somewhere, making them the constant reason for delays in planning and execution of group activities.
Cal: I’ll be home in 10 minutes and load up a playlist as soon as i get online. So… gimme 20 minutes and we’re set.

Dan: Is that GMT or McCarthy Standard Time?

Jack: See you in an hour Cal. 🙄
by x427 January 9, 2023
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The Biscuit Conundrum

The calculation or guestimate required to work out just the right amount of alcohol and “vitamin powder” you can stand before having to play Sunday league at 10 in the morning.

Often miscalculated, leading to injuries, vomiting and disappointed teammates.
Richard: “What’s George doing over there?”

Jack: “Trying to work out his prematch limits.”

Andrew: “Oh. The Biscuit Conundrum.”

Daniel: “I hope he gets it right. He’s got a relegation 6 pointer tomorrow morning”
by x427 October 5, 2023
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