whooer's your daddy's definitions

Minutiae

An annoying journalist on NPR.

Oh look, Minutiae Zomorodi is on Radiolab again. Let’s kill ourselves.

by whooer's your daddy February 1, 2023

Fart Finish

When horse-racing officials used to use a burst of colored gas at the finish line to determine the winner of a race, as opposed to using a photograph. Not to be confused with finishing each other‘s farts, or Fart Finnish.

That race was a real squeaker. A real fart finish. You racist!

by whooer's your daddy November 11, 2018

Anniehilation tattoo

A tattoo that used to say “Annie” but now says “Anniehilation” because dude got dumped by Annie.

Annie said she saw you last week. She said your Anniehilation tattoo made her feel uncomfortable. Because it said “Anniehilation”.

by whooer's your daddy April 14, 2019

Shitnipples

An affectionate nickname for one’s African-American female familiars. Refers to the color of their skin and the fact that they have nipples. Terrible. Not very inventive. Probably racist. But bold and decisive, as these definitions go. Also known as shitnips, shiznips, shaznops, and shippers. And very rarely, ships in the night. Not to be confused with Shynips, which are inverted weirdo nipples (aka Innie-olas).

Shitnipples was in the bathroom for like 45 minutes, and when she finally came out she was crying. Like really hard. Because she couldn’t get her poop to go down. That stuff really embarrasses her. She takes it so personally, it breaks your heart. She sent me out into the hallway and locked the apartment door behind me. By the time she finished all the plunging and cursing and opened the door again, I was laying on my belly in the hall, playing smartphone games. (Which is a first for me.) She aimed her hollow zombie eyes at the middle of my face and muttered, “Come back in, I guess...” I don’t think she’ll ever been the same. She won’t get help. She won’t sleep. I tell her it’s only poop. She covers her belly, puts your finger to her lips, and whispers, “Quiet! It’ll hear you!”

by whooer's your daddy October 26, 2018

Hitler molestache

A mole that looks like a Hitler molestache.

I think the phrase “Hitler molestache” speaks for itself.

by whooer's your daddy April 14, 2019

Shownips

Nipples that have been made erect with friction in preparation for a performance.

Skinny Chloe’s still back there, rubbin and twistin up a storm. Girl’s gotta get her shownips on. Specially a little girl like that! How else these fools gonna know she got titties at all?

by whooer's your daddy October 26, 2018

The Brothers Johnson

Black men. Sometimes, Black people.

That Halloween costume is not gonna go over well with The Brothers Johnson

by whooer's your daddy March 23, 2021