Definitions by whooer's your daddy

Minutiae 

An annoying journalist on NPR.

Oh look, Minutiae Zomorodi is on Radiolab again. Let’s kill ourselves.

Minutiae by whooer's your daddy February 1, 2023

The Brothers Johnson 

Black men. Sometimes, Black people.

That Halloween costume is not gonna go over well with The Brothers Johnson

The Brothers Johnson by whooer's your daddy March 23, 2021

Penis Brah 

A shortening of Penis Brahe, the term used to describe a penis that cannot be used for urination, due to anatomical issues. Penis Brah is named after the astronomer Tycho Brahe, who famously refused to leave a banquet table to urinate until, it is said, his bladder burst and he died. (At which point he could no longer urinate out of his penis.) In truth his bladder did not burst, but he was unable to urinate due to various health issues, and likely died of uremia.

Increased smegma production is an unfortunate result of penis brah -- not unlike how a colostomy results in a cheese-like exudate seeping from the anus over time. In both cases a nurse may assist in irrigating the affected passage.

Penis Brah by whooer's your daddy September 11, 2019

Unclap 

In my world "unclap" refers to when you silently place your hands together and then abruptly separate your palms (as if suddenly measuring a fish) in an attempt to acoustically cancel out, or subtract, absorb, suck up, cause destructive interference with, or simply detract from other people's mindless clapping. For bad regional theater. For someone's mediocre child blowing on a hokey old noisemaker. Most of all, we do it for when others clap strictly out of habit. Unclapping is the less athletic version of a a standing ovation protest. I.e. when a lot of idiots give a standing ovation to a single idiot, and in order to prevent the idiot from thinking they deserve it, you lay with your back on your theater seat, with your head toward the floor and your feet in the air. It's awkward and often causes a stir, what with your feet hitting the faces of the overjoyed. But it says clearly, "I'm not standing for this! I hold fast against your joy! I would fold my arms resolutely but then I'd slide out of this chair onto my head!" Think on that, celebrators of mediocrity. Go unclap yourself!

I searched Urban Dictionary for the word "unclap", and finding nothing, I defined the word. Only to discover later that someone had already defined "unclapping". Nice search engine, Urban Dictionary.

Unclap by whooer's your daddy September 6, 2019

Hitler molestache 

A mole that looks like a Hitler molestache.

I think the phrase “Hitler molestache” speaks for itself.

Hitler molestache by whooer's your daddy April 14, 2019

Anniehilation tattoo

A tattoo that used to say “Annie” but now says “Anniehilation” because dude got dumped by Annie.

Annie said she saw you last week. She said your Anniehilation tattoo made her feel uncomfortable. Because it said “Anniehilation”.

Anniehilation tattoo by whooer's your daddy April 14, 2019

Finishing Each Other’s Farts 

When old folks in a long-term marriage are so attuned to each others needs and so productive of flatus that they’re able to finish each other’s farts. Literally.

Not to be confused with:
> Fart Finish - When you determine the winner of a race using a puff of colored gas instead of a photograph
> Fart Finnish - The Scandinavian practice of keeping a fishbone in your anus so that farts come out silently

Looking in the Time Machine, what did I see?Tommy and Tammy, sitting in a tree. First comes love. Then comes marriage. Then they’re struggling to get up the stairs in their old house, hand-in-hand, finishing each other’s farts.

Respect.

Finishing Each Other’s Farts by whooer's your daddy November 11, 2018