disasteronaut

This is a person, not unlike an astronaut, who will go to great distances in order to explore how to create disasters far from their home instead of learning how to make the universe a better place.

Benny: "Hey Dionte! What the fuck were you doin' over in that hood? You were starting shit with the Gomez twins!"
Dionte: "They posted some trash about me. It took me two subway transfers and a bus to get there. They're scared!"
Benny: "You fuckin' disasteronaut! They ain't scared. They're gonna lit up our block. You're on your own!"

by von groovy August 15, 2024

dreamshame

The unpleasant feeling you have after having a dream where you do something you really want to do, but can't in your waking life due to the shame you'd feel

Seamus was walking around the block today in full dreamshame mode after having that dream where he boned his teacher Mrs. Jones.

by von groovy April 13, 2019

selfspense

A combination of the words SELFIE and SUSPENSE which defines the amount of time a person waits to see if their most recently posted selfie will be a success and they will be admired by many.

While enjoying a new craft beer, Shari decided to post a selfie. She sat in selfspense for what seemed an eternity - 33 seconds - before a follower reshared it and backhanded a compliment to her.

by von groovy September 07, 2017

smooth as sandpaper

A way to criticize someone for failing to do something easy because it is obviously rough for them.

Reggie: Watch me tie my shoes! Oh no! I forgot the bunny ears part!
Art: Wow! You are as smooth as sandpaper, Reggie! Now let's get back to 11th grade math.

by von groovy August 08, 2017

she-fail

When a female does something normally intended for a male and does not succeed.

Javon: Did you hear about Molly trying out as linebacker for Varsity?
Aaron: Yes! And she-fail!!!

by von groovy February 21, 2019

handling the merchandise

The act of masturbating in a grocery store while employing the merchandise to complete the act

"Clean up on aisle 3 in produce. Someone has been handling the merchandise and the avocados have been abused"

by von groovy September 15, 2019

shuthurt

The state of being so utterly hurt by someone's actions that one cannot open their mouths to create a sound.

Sophie: "Did you hear what happened with Blondie?"
Sarah: "No, I don't know who Blondie is? You gossip like a churchgoer. Anyway, tell me what happened?"
Sophie: Silence
Sarah: " LOL, OMG, GYST, and most of all WTF, Sophie. Don't be all shuthurt cause I call you out. I'm a freak and I love it!"

by von groovy June 22, 2024