von groovy's definitions

enabled

The opposite of someone who is disabled. This is an able-bodied person who manipulates the system to get out of working, being a responsible parent, and a productive citizen.

Paul: My great uncle's V.A. benefits continue to get cut. He literally eats a can of beans for dinner to save for gas money to drive 83 miles each way to the V.A. hospital each week! Meanwhile, his neighbor - an able-bodied fuck - has never worked, has the government pay for his kid's daycare, gets free bus passes that he throws away, sells his EBT benefits for weed, and brags about how he rips off the government that he hates!!
Steve: He was a sniper in the Marines, right?
Paul: Yeah, he was. 23 kills.
Steve: He should shoot that enabled trash.

by von groovy June 14, 2017

period erection

Why this is an exclamation point of course! It is a period that is in a state of enthusiasm. It has nothing to do with vulgar sex stuff or menses.

Teacher: "Okay class. Today we will learn about the exclamation point and what it means. Understood?"

The teacher then draws one on the smartboard.
Ernie: "Umm, Miss B? Why does your period have a boner? It's like a period erection or something!"
Class laughs.
Teacher: "That's enough, class! Ernie! Get your hands out of your pants! You little pervert! Stop staring at my chest!"

by von groovy January 28, 2025

cream theater

A porno theater. A place where cream is produced by men milking themselves.

Kevin: "I heard that Father Jones was caught pullin' it at the cream theater."
James: "Well, that's better than puttin' it into an altar boy."

by von groovy April 13, 2019

Her eyes were like butterflies

This is when a woman has big, bright, colorful eyes that are beyond becoming and entrancing and suggest to you that you may be the one. When it happens your life will forever change.

Leo: " And then I started to tell her how I felt about her. Dude, and then...she just..."
Leon: "What happened bro? Finish the story!"
Leo: "She smiled and began to bat her majestic eyelashes at me. Man! Her eyes were like butterflies. It's really happening!"

by von groovy June 30, 2024

rooster blood

What I have called Sriracha because of the rooster on the bottle and because little kids may think that's what it is.

Customer: Do you have any rooster blood for my tofu?
Waiter: What on earth do you mean? We are a vegan gastropub!
Customer: Sorry, I meant Sriracha.

by von groovy May 24, 2017

online moms

Something you call someone who tries to censor or control your online life so that you are more positive and non-judgmental of others.

Duke: Man, I saw what you commented on Janice's post of her in her bikini. Not nice. So she still has some baby fat. I think you should remove that comment and replace it with an encouraging compliment.
Buck: Whatever! She's kinda chunky and too pale! What are you, my online moms now? You want to hit it! Admit it!

by von groovy June 10, 2017

pukulele

The instant reaction one has when someone who no one is paying attention to breaks out their conveniently available ukulele to play dumb songs that no one wants to hear and ruins the groove that everyone has going on so as to only pay somewhat attention to them.

The tight and chill hang was positive as all were feeling right until Aaron told everyone that he had learned how to play a "classic" on the ukulele that he so happened to have his in his backpack. Everyone was polite but as soon as he started playing, they were in a state of pukulele and began to talk louder than his terrible playing.

by von groovy July 26, 2024