von groovy's definitions

oh she is THAT bitch!

That certain someone who is so manipulative, conniving, negative, and untrustworthy that you are still surprised by her ability to be THAT bitch!

Lilly: "Did you hear about Cassandra yesterday? With Nate and then with his girl? Wow! I mean WOW!"
Kenzie: "You are surprised?! Girl, oh she is THAT bitch! Stay away. I do."
Lilly: "But she's my Mom..."

by von groovy July 11, 2024

kiss of bliss

This is the name of the act of performing cunnilingus by anyone who is so lucky to be able to do it. It's a wonderfully mesmerizing act that all consenting adults should engage in - often.

As Melanie removed her panties, Miquel was finally presented with all he had fantasied about for months. His passion and devotion to only pleasing Melanie allowed him the ability to bestow the best kiss of bliss that had been given in his city for three years and the first of many he would give to her. They would both never be the same.

by von groovy June 19, 2024

Emotional Lotion

Why of course I am referring to any form of ejaculate.

Hollie and Archer were in the midst of serious love gettin's and in a sensual turn of event with sexy results, they each had produced some Emotional Lotion that they each had begun to rub into each other's skin.

Hollie: "Oh, Arch! Just schmear your hot emotional lotion all over me since my skin is drier than the Sahara!"
Archer: "Not a problem, babe! Just look into my eyes when I'm doing it so I can start making more."

by von groovy May 18, 2024

I am not your phone!

This is what someone exclaims out of anger and frustration when someone touches them in an undesired and inappropriate manner. Basically telling someone to keep their hands off of them. It does not have to be sexual, however, it typically is.

Boo: "So, I was with Louis last night and he was too much!"
Stu: "Sorry, Boo. What did he do?"
Boo: "He put his hand on the chair when I was sitting down to try to peel the peach. I saw it and I yelled, I am not your phone! I left and made a post. Everybody knows!"

by von groovy September 18, 2025

I couldn't stop the swimmers

The simultaneously unfortunate and wonderful feeling that is premature ejaculation

Randy: And then I got in there and it felt soooo sweeet!!
Wally: DUDE!!!
Randy: She looked me in the eye, whispered my name and I couldn't stop the swimmers!!!
Wally: You bitch! Control your jizz!

by von groovy April 13, 2019

postless

The act of not documenting an event that occurred which thereby erases it from history since it has not been posted. The quality of having not being posted.

Serge: Me and Tandy last night! Ooh la la!!
Leon: It did not happen, mang. Lies...
Serge: Yeah, it did. I saw her posting about it afterwards!
Leon: I just searched her history - nothing! Postless! She wants to forget about it - or did it even happen?

by von groovy June 6, 2017

wish like a fat girl

The desperate way of wishing for something that will not happen because the wisher does not have enough self-discipline.

Betty: Oh, Carlene! I really hope that Graham calls me! He's just so dreamy!
Carlene: Betty! Get real! He's from the good part of town. You truly wish like a fat girl!

by von groovy June 9, 2017