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the evil steve's definitions

communist

1) (rare) one who strives to attain the ideals of communism (see cako's spot-on definition)

2) (common) impotent jibe intended to put down a non-like-minded person. Insult had some impact during the Cold War-era, but so did Styx.
1) True communists are idealists who truly believe humans can transcend selfishness. Then the weed wears off.

2) There is a 99.5% chance that Rush Limbaugh would call you a communist.
by The Evil Steve September 3, 2005
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sack bunch

The uniquely male sensation of having one's scrotum squished into an uncomfortably small area or configuration due to unfortunate seating arrangements. The most common culprit is that poorly-placed knot in your blue jeans where all four denim panels get sewn together at Scro Central.

Causes include sitting quickly and carelessly in hot, humid weather when the twins are just a-danglin', shifting in car seats while seat-belted, any form of self-induced frontal wedgie (often from scooting forward on a cloth-upholstered seat), or a combination of the above.

In particularly blessed gents, sack bunch can result in sitting on one's own balls. Honorable and impressive as the feat sounds, the sensation makes one want to cry and puke simultaneously. Not recommended.
Lady Passenger: Why are you grabbing at yourself? Shouldn't you be concentrating on driving?

Male Driver: Gaah! I got sack bunch! If you just planted your ass on your own man-marbles, you'd be skittish too!
by The Evil Steve August 28, 2005
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f-mail

A very angry e-mail reply, often loaded with profanity or implied profanity. Can be either personal or business-related. Not to be confused with a flame, f-mails are issued as an expression of extreme dissatisfaction with a specific situation... where you eventually call somebody a monkeyfucker.
When my wireless card crapped out, Chris from Tech Support sent Tech Release 1.01b. When I e-mailed that Tech Release 1.01b didn't work, he sent Tech Release 1.01b. When I e-mailed him again that Tech Release 1.01b has nothing to do with my problem, he sent Tech Release 1.01b. I then f-mailed Chris, questioning his parentage and telling him to give the farm animals a rest.
by The Evil Steve May 8, 2006
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green eggs and ham

In reference to the classic Dr. Seuss book. Describes a marathon sexual encounter involving multiple positions and locations, be they done or or projected to be done.
1. "Dude! Megan's roommate was away for the weekend, so we just rocked it all over the house - every bedroom, the kitchen, the bathroom, the living room - it was awesome! We went green eggs and ham for three straight days!"

2. "Damn, could I go all green eggs and ham on that: I would do her on a train, I would do her in the rain. I would do her in the trees, I would mount her on her knees..."
by The Evil Steve April 6, 2010
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alcoheels

The safer, more stable 2-inch-or-less-high wider-heeled shoes ladies wear when they go out to toss back. Alcoheels reduce the likelihood of catching in sidewalk cracks while stumbling back to the car/bus/taxi and minimize ankle sprains when dancing one's drunk ass off.
Amanda's just going to Ladies' Night with her girls - no need to impress, so she's breaking out the alcoheels!
by The Evil Steve December 16, 2009
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Think Outside of the Box

Old - Phrase in office-speak suggesting the use of unorthodox approaches to solve otherwise difficult problems. Not a bad phrase, but too many pointy-haired-boss types latched on to it and used it as a knee-jerk response when asked for input, thus blanching it of all meaning.

New - Happy-hour phrase meaning "Get your mind off the poontang - we're talking sports now!"
Old - Cube Monkey: Boss, I'd like your input on this problem.
Boss: Think outside of the box, Monkey.
Cube Monkey: Well, I thought you may have some time-saving insight, since you're paid to be my professional superior and all...
Boss: Just think outside of the box, Monkey!
Cube Monkey: Right. Hey! I'll use the fuckyoubossoscope!
Boss: There you go, Monkey!

New - Guy 1: Think the Rams have a chance this year?
Guy 2: It'll be tough, but anybody can make the playoffs in the NFC... What do you think, Trey?
Guy 3: Did you see the ass on that marketing intern? Damn! I could write a poem about that ass!
Guy 1: Hey, Trey... we're over here... football conversation?
Guy 2: Yeah, Trey - Think outside of the box!
by The Evil Steve September 5, 2005
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santastic

Adjective to describe that comfortable satisfaction one gets from stuffing their head-holes with fat-and-sugar laden holiday food for a month. Also describes one's new larger physical profile from same.
Guy 1: Man, I've been chowing on pie and Christmas cookies non-stop for the last three weeks. I feel Santastic!

Guy 2: Yeah, you look Santastic, too, Tubbo!

Guy 1: Suck it.
by The Evil Steve December 21, 2008
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