the evil steve's definitions

ditto monkey

A person who vapidly, unthinkingly yet wholeheartedly repeats, shares and takes to heart phrases and ideas he/she hears from his perceived leader. Most often (OK, damned near exclusively) applied to followers of right-wing media magnates like Rush Limbaugh, Michael Savage Weiner, Sean Hannity, Bill O'Reilly, et al. A ditto monkey is often a raging dullard who can't normally put two syllables together without a paper clip, yet when the topic of their idol's specialty comes up (usually politics), his eyes glaze over and he eloquently spews words you know he couldn't otherwise possibly understand.

"Oh great... E-mail from Patrick. Hideous spelling, every fourth word in ALL CAPS, punctuation looks like a typewriter threw up, and he's blaming the weather on the Clintons. What a flippin' ditto monkey!"

by The Evil Steve August 24, 2005

Miltoned

To have rights, privileges, and/or other amenities revoked over a period of time with apparent intent of making the Miltonee want to leave. Derived from the Milton character in the movie Office Space, who constantly had his cubicle moved and office supplies removed against his protestations.

Since last year, my boss has taken away lunch breaks, given my job to an intern, and made me share my cubicle with Smelly Mel from Marketing - I'm totally getting Miltoned!

by The Evil Steve September 5, 2005

beer coaster

Tattoo on the small of a woman's back, usually roundish with rays or flames and two colors (green and/or red will be invovled most often), located precisely where a guy should set his beer while nailing her doggie style. Most prevalent with porn stars, wannabe porn stars, biker chicks, drrrty grrrls, and suburban fluff chicks who want everybody to think they're hard.

Gents - Are you horny? Then hit the club and scout for chicks with the Bar Slut Hat Trick - crop top, low-rider pants or skirt, and beer coaster tatt on display. (Tight jeans with high heels also a good indicator.)

by The Evil Steve September 6, 2005

Slipknot

Very loud, very fast band. Fastest drummer I've ever heard, and the rest of the band keeps up and in time. Not the most complicated or artisticly impressive music, but fuck it - it's metal... what do you want?

In the rare moments the vocalist sings, his voice is pretty decent. 90% of the time, he belches out words in a rapid-fire growl-scream that makes your throat hurt to listen to. Effective for the lyrics and crowd Slipknot plays to.

If one is to believe that Slipknot's lyrics represent the true feelings of the band, these guys wake up more pissed off and hateful than any remotely sane human should ever be in the worst situation imaginable. Therefore, it is safe to say they are a marketing creation geared toward angst-ridden 15-23 year old white males. On drugs. A lot of drugs. A lot of hard, powerful, brain-raping drugs. (The band - not necessarily the target market.)

Technically impressive, artistically passable, lyrically horrid to the point of amusement.

Fear anyone who belives Slipknot's lyrics were written just for him out of pages from his life. The average disaffected adolescent white boy is destructive enough - if he rallies around Slipknot lyrics, you've got another Timothy McVeigh just waiting to happen.

And guys... what's the deal with the masks?

by The Evil Steve September 5, 2005

pastafarian

Worshipper and follower of the Flying Spaghetti Monster

Have you been touched by His Noodly Appendage? Then put on your pirate outfit and join the Pastafarians!

by The Evil Steve September 5, 2005

sack bunch

The uniquely male sensation of having one's scrotum squished into an uncomfortably small area or configuration due to unfortunate seating arrangements. The most common culprit is that poorly-placed knot in your blue jeans where all four denim panels get sewn together at Scro Central.

Causes include sitting quickly and carelessly in hot, humid weather when the twins are just a-danglin', shifting in car seats while seat-belted, any form of self-induced frontal wedgie (often from scooting forward on a cloth-upholstered seat), or a combination of the above.

In particularly blessed gents, sack bunch can result in sitting on one's own balls. Honorable and impressive as the feat sounds, the sensation makes one want to cry and puke simultaneously. Not recommended.

Lady Passenger: Why are you grabbing at yourself? Shouldn't you be concentrating on driving?

Male Driver: Gaah! I got sack bunch! If you just planted your ass on your own man-marbles, you'd be skittish too!

by The Evil Steve August 28, 2005

craction

A hopefully unintentional display of buttcrack. See also "hillbilly cleavage" and "plumber's smile".

"Yo, Steve - nice craction you're flexing there. Now I see where you store your extra pens."

by The Evil Steve August 23, 2006