the evil steve's definitions

size 9'd

Having one's anus forcefully, repeatedly and not-always-voluntarily resized. Size 9ing is most often performed courtesy of one's new cellmate's johnson, although at some parties, a proper piss-on / pass-out may elicit the act.

Guy 1: "Why is Shiela walking all funny?"
Guy 2: "She got Size 9'ed after passing out face down on the couch at Bob's party."

by The Evil Steve August 30, 2005

piss-on

The act of getting intentionally obliterated by alcohol in pursuit of a good time. More thorough than "going out for drinks" - you know damned well you won't be driving home from a proper piss-on.

Girl: "Why did Larry just drop his keys in the fish tank?"

Guy: "He's been looking forward to this party all week - he pegged it as a piss-on on Wednesday!"

by The Evil Steve August 30, 2005

NBN

Shorthand for No Beers Necessary. Used to describe a person so attractive that one wouldn't require a drink to inspire or prepare for denting headboards with them. Can be spoken as 'nibben'.

Guy 1: "Did you see the body on that chick? She's totally NBN!"
Guy 2: "Ummm... dude... she's got three eyes and one eyebrow. Ease up on the Jaeger! Nice rack, though."

by The Evil Steve August 24, 2005

f-mail

A very angry e-mail reply, often loaded with profanity or implied profanity. Can be either personal or business-related. Not to be confused with a flame, f-mails are issued as an expression of extreme dissatisfaction with a specific situation... where you eventually call somebody a monkeyfucker.

When my wireless card crapped out, Chris from Tech Support sent Tech Release 1.01b. When I e-mailed that Tech Release 1.01b didn't work, he sent Tech Release 1.01b. When I e-mailed him again that Tech Release 1.01b has nothing to do with my problem, he sent Tech Release 1.01b. I then f-mailed Chris, questioning his parentage and telling him to give the farm animals a rest.

by The Evil Steve May 8, 2006

sack bunch

The uniquely male sensation of having one's scrotum squished into an uncomfortably small area or configuration due to unfortunate seating arrangements. The most common culprit is that poorly-placed knot in your blue jeans where all four denim panels get sewn together at Scro Central.

Causes include sitting quickly and carelessly in hot, humid weather when the twins are just a-danglin', shifting in car seats while seat-belted, any form of self-induced frontal wedgie (often from scooting forward on a cloth-upholstered seat), or a combination of the above.

In particularly blessed gents, sack bunch can result in sitting on one's own balls. Honorable and impressive as the feat sounds, the sensation makes one want to cry and puke simultaneously. Not recommended.

Lady Passenger: Why are you grabbing at yourself? Shouldn't you be concentrating on driving?

Male Driver: Gaah! I got sack bunch! If you just planted your ass on your own man-marbles, you'd be skittish too!

by The Evil Steve August 28, 2005

chesticles

1) Reference to the confidence, or "balls", in dealing with men afforded to ladies with ample frontage.

2) Sweater puppies, cat heads, bazooms, etc.

1) Linda demanded an explanation from the boss for turning down her expense reports - she's really testing her chesticles!

2) Guy 1: Yo! Check out the chesticles on the redhead!

Guy 2: Ahoy, Cap'n! The SS Brassiere's front torpedo bays are armed, loaded and ready for battle!

by The Evil Steve September 5, 2005

alcoheels

The safer, more stable 2-inch-or-less-high wider-heeled shoes ladies wear when they go out to toss back. Alcoheels reduce the likelihood of catching in sidewalk cracks while stumbling back to the car/bus/taxi and minimize ankle sprains when dancing one's drunk ass off.

Amanda's just going to Ladies' Night with her girls - no need to impress, so she's breaking out the alcoheels!

by The Evil Steve December 16, 2009