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the evil steve's definitions

epidemic

1. (dictionary) Widespread contagion, usually a bacteria or virus, that kills or severly sickens a large number people in a particular geographic area.

2. (American Media) Half-assed drug or dumbass activity that kills a couple suburban white kids, usually in the Baltimore area for some reason.
1. The SARS epidemic of 2003 killed hundreds and hospitalized thousands in China and Toronto.

2. Stone Phillips reporting on the highway surfing epidemic... Ashleigh Banfield to follow with an expose on the paint-huffing epidemic.
by The Evil Steve September 5, 2005
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only when I'm pregnant

A male person's definitive "never" response. Puts to rest the relentless drunk friend-of-friend who tries to force you into a flase confession.
Drunk FoF: "Dude, would you ever consider nailing Snooki?"
Dude: "No."
Drunk FoF: "Not even if your were drunk?"
Dude: "Never."
Drunk FoF: "Even if you're drunk, horny, and she's playing with your balls?"
Dude: "Only when I'm pregnant."
by The Evil Steve November 16, 2011
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Nibbenmilf, Land of

Combination of the terms NBN and MILF which describes a mythical realm dripping with perpetually horny drop-dead gorgeous women between the ages of 35-50. Some upper-middle-class planned suburban communities bursting at the seams with trophy wives may qualify, but most of us will only see them on TV or in the movies.
Fairview from Desperate Housewives may be the mythical Land of Nibbenmilf.
by The Evil Steve August 25, 2005
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rape in Sweden

based loosely on the Julian Assange case, referring to the fact that what counts as anything from gross sexual imposition down to just uncool sexual activites in Australia can be considered rape in Sweden. Used to alert braggart friends that their boasting is not particulary welcome. Also used to be a smartass.
Dude 1: "Yeah, the bitch said no to getting all up in dat azz, but I went there anyway."
Dude 2: "Dude! That's rape in Sweden!"

or

Dude 1: "Jagoff walks around with his pants around his knees, so I grab the waistband on his BVDs and hike 'em towards the heavens!"

Dude 2: "snicker Yeah... but that's rape in Sweden! chuckle"
by The Evil Steve December 20, 2010
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f-mail

A very angry e-mail reply, often loaded with profanity or implied profanity. Can be either personal or business-related. Not to be confused with a flame, f-mails are issued as an expression of extreme dissatisfaction with a specific situation... where you eventually call somebody a monkeyfucker.
When my wireless card crapped out, Chris from Tech Support sent Tech Release 1.01b. When I e-mailed that Tech Release 1.01b didn't work, he sent Tech Release 1.01b. When I e-mailed him again that Tech Release 1.01b has nothing to do with my problem, he sent Tech Release 1.01b. I then f-mailed Chris, questioning his parentage and telling him to give the farm animals a rest.
by The Evil Steve May 8, 2006
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sack bunch

The uniquely male sensation of having one's scrotum squished into an uncomfortably small area or configuration due to unfortunate seating arrangements. The most common culprit is that poorly-placed knot in your blue jeans where all four denim panels get sewn together at Scro Central.

Causes include sitting quickly and carelessly in hot, humid weather when the twins are just a-danglin', shifting in car seats while seat-belted, any form of self-induced frontal wedgie (often from scooting forward on a cloth-upholstered seat), or a combination of the above.

In particularly blessed gents, sack bunch can result in sitting on one's own balls. Honorable and impressive as the feat sounds, the sensation makes one want to cry and puke simultaneously. Not recommended.
Lady Passenger: Why are you grabbing at yourself? Shouldn't you be concentrating on driving?

Male Driver: Gaah! I got sack bunch! If you just planted your ass on your own man-marbles, you'd be skittish too!
by The Evil Steve August 28, 2005
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heavy rotation

The set of 15 or so songs that Clear Channelesque cookie-cutter format radio stations play at least once an hour 24/7 until their Major Record Label BitchMasters tell them (or pay them) to play something else.

If a song you like makes heavy rotation, you'll hate it in two weeks or less. If a song you hate makes heavy rotation, you'll want to pull your brain out through your ears. Changing the station won't help, since every format radio station across the continent plays the same friggin' 15 songs in heavy rotation.
The MILF anthem "Stacy's Mom" was a fun song until it made heavy rotation - now I don't even want to bang Rachel Hunter anymore.
by The Evil Steve September 5, 2005
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