the colonel's definitions

Scotched

A state of mind induced by drinking copious quantites of scotch. Usually can be identified by a happy, mellow feeling at night and a dry mouth the next day.

Don't drive while scotched.

Why go to a bar and drink when you can sit home and get scotched?

by The Colonel December 2, 2004

baby rattlesnakes

Young punks that are full of testosterone and looking to get into fights.

Dude, the NOFX show was cool but the pit was full of baby rattlesnakes.

by The Colonel July 18, 2003

kookmeyer

Wilbur Kookmeyer, a popular cartoon character from Surfer Magazine. He is the epitome of a kook - can't surf worth a shit and is a complete friendless loser (except for his dog, although you get the impression that his dog thinks he's a kook, too), but loves surfing and thinks of himself as a pro-caliber ripper. Hated by all other surfers and constantly humiliating himself and behaving like, well...a kook.

Huntington Beach is full of kookmeyers, especially all those 30-something dipshits who act like locals but can't really surf worth a shit.

by The Colonel May 11, 2004

Gyneconography

AKA Gynecological Porn. Pornography that focuses on the woman's vagina. This can range from poses where the woman is simply spreading her legs in every image, to extreme closups of, and practically inside, the vagina.

This chick is spreading her pussy lips in every picture. It's full on Gyneconography.

by The Colonel March 1, 2007

Sklabby

Sklabby is the combination of skinny and flabby and refers to women (usually European) women who are skinny and yet also out of shape. In America you typically find two exremes - women who are either big and fat, or women who are skinny and in great shape. In Europe, you won't find many women who are terribly fat, but you also won't find many women who are terribly fit either. A chick may have a small ass, but it'll be jiggly ass - skinny and flabby.

We went to this nice beach in Bali which was covered in Sklabby Euro chicks.

by The Colonel September 27, 2004

slim bavis

A bad, skinny ninja

Damn, Jim is a slim bavis

by The Colonel October 1, 2003

Boxtrap

A gay man's beard.

The belief is that the attraction of beards within the gay community is actually a latent heterosexual attraction to the female genitalia. Hence, the man's mouth become a surrogate vagina...hair and all.

Related words:
"box" - slang for vagina.
"trap" - slang for mouth.

After Bob came out of the closet, the first thing he did was buy a white Miata and grow a boxtrap.

by The Colonel May 19, 2006