the coMANd'r's definitions

extortion abortion

When an extortion attempt turns in to an aborted mission

When an extortion attempt turns in to an aborted mission

Hub: dude, what even happened to the whole shit-show with Patricia?

Barney: you mean the voice memo threatening me with urban dictionary posts to get me fired?

Hub: ya, did you turn that voice memo in to the police and California Bar Association?

Barney: nah, from some reason she backed off after filing a bunch of anonymous complaints, essentially pulling an extortion abortion and not sure why. Oddly he switched is focus on Kat

Hub: ah, dousche defined

by the comand'r January 11, 2024

crossfade cocktail

A key move used by savvy drinkers where you have about one quarter of your cocktail left as you approach the bartender for your next, as not to go bone dry. Similar to the DJ crossfade smooth transition from one song to the next by turning the volume down on the first song as it ends and up on the new song as it begins.

Barney: Eric got toasted last night

Pablo: Ya, it was his birthday and he was full on with the crossfade cocktail. Never had an empty. Melissa kept Drew happy to with a stay-cup. It was a great party that resulted in no target vomiting.

by the comand'r October 22, 2022

co-V-ed

The term used to identify mixed gender educational facilities in the COVID-19 pandemic. COVID-19 turns co-ed to co-V-ed.

Jill: Kat’s going back to college in August and the dorms are open.

Paige: Really?

Jill: Ya, she’s attending a CO-v-ED university. Back to school Fall 2020.

Paige: Make sure she remains COVIDgilent.

by the comand'r June 21, 2020

COVIDgilent

Keeping careful watch for possible danger driven by the COVID-19 Virus

Ken: Mom is freaked out about the COVID-19. She is scaring me because every time I cough, she is telling me we need to go to the drive-thru testing.

Barney: Ya, Mom is just being COVIDgilent about da rona to be protective of our family.

by the comand'r March 18, 2020

crappy ending

The opposite of a happy ending when getting a massage. When you are so relaxed that you shit yourself during the massage.

Dana: Dude, I just had a great massage just now but I need to tip the masseuse big.

Eric: Why, happy ending?

Dana: Nope. Actually, it was the polar opposite. I was so relaxed I shat myself at minute 45.

Eric: Oh dude, crappy ending...

by the comand'r October 27, 2014

bake up call

Requesting a hotel, typically a motel, to call you at a certain time to remind you to smoke the doobage. Essentially a wake up call for stoners.

My roommate Carson used to set the alarm clock to wake him up for a smoke session early in the am, aka wake n bake, so much so that when he travelled and was too high to figure out how to set the alarm clock in a hotel, he'd call the front desk and request a bake up call. Typically at 4:20am.

by the comand'r November 30, 2013

shart fart

The noise made right before someone sharts themselves, typically followed by an awkward grimace and a "whoops!"

Did you see Timmy playing soccer today? The coach called him out after he started walking like a penguin? The referee was startled by the shart fart Timmy released at the goal crease.

by the comand'r October 10, 2016