Getting Hoped

When you have that one friend who comments on every FB or Instagram post about having been there or done that already.

Her: Wow, that pic of you in the secret toilet of the Taj Mahal is awesome.

Him: Yeah but I’m Getting Hoped, she says she was there 10 years ago.

by stuartc1 June 17, 2020

predisastered

When something bad is going to happen and everyone knows it but the probable victims are unwilling to do anything about it.

Will: I went to Dad’s house today, he’s going to break his neck going down those stairs to his office.

Frank: Why doesn’t he move his office upstairs?
Stuart: Too late, it’s predisastered.

by stuartc1 November 30, 2020

Tequarantine

When you go on a self imposed quarantine with several bottles of tequila

Me: Where’s Jane? She hasn’t been at work all week.
Her: She got a virus in Mexico and is at home on a Tequarantine

by stuartc1 March 12, 2020

bun sliding

Common in Utah and Idaho, a sex act which consists of the male sliding his penis between his girl’s butt cheeks without penetrating her vagina or anus.

Rita: Dude, no more bun sliding, stick it in.

Dude: I don’t do premarital sex.

by stuartc1 October 28, 2021

morontration

A congregation of morons

Him: Who are all those people protesting the state lockdown?
Her: That’s a morontration

by stuartc1 April 18, 2020

Chrismission

An assignment by a spouse of other family member to acquire Christmas presents

Him: Let's find a sports bar Sunday and watch some NFL
Me: Can't, my wife has me scheduled for a Chrismission before we leave for the holidays

by stuartc1 November 10, 2017

jack of all traits

A politically correct way of describing someone with multiple personality disorder

Him: WTF is up with Jill? One minute she's Marsha Brady, the next she's Brittney Spears.
Her: She's a jack of all traits.

by stuartc1 February 08, 2018