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stormsworder's definitions

slut

A cock (bird) wakes up and shouts: "Cock-a-doodle-do!"

A slut wakes up and shouts "Any-cock-will-do!"
Slut said to me: "The guy I went with last night insisted on caning my backside before he had sex with me. It reminded me of being sent to the headmaster's office back at school. The only difference was the headmaster never bothered with the caning bit".
by Stormsworder March 9, 2007
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daddy longlegs

Despite popular belief, a daddy longlegs is a spider with a small body and long, spindly legs. What most people think of as a daddy longlegs is actualy called a crane fly. Spiders like daddy longlegs are most common in summer, especialy during hot summers when there are a lot of insects about.
Don't kill a daddy longlegs, or any other kind of spider. They eat household pests.
by Stormsworder April 22, 2007
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fouling the pavement

1: What people continue to let their dogs do despite so-called laws.

2: What the council do by putting up all those hideous new lamp posts (usually featureless metal posts with shapeless lumps of plastic on top of them, resembling giant golf clubs). Thanks to carefree, penny-pinching councils, we now have old town and village centres looking like football pitches full of floodlights. We also have landfill sights struggling to cope with the thousands of perfectly good lamp posts which have been removed due to pointless rules and regulations.
Howcome the council don't get fined for fouling the pavement. Go away and take your cheap rubbish with you.
by Stormsworder October 25, 2006
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encyclopedia dramatica

Supposedly an online encyclopedia, this is little more than a haven for porn, obscenities and rather childish insults. Presumably someone who was banned from wikipedia for thinking crude language and playground behaviour was an alternative to facts or humour has set up his own website in which he can be spiteful and pathetic until the cows come home.
Man #1: "I want to start posting things to an online website, but unfortunately I have no knowledge about anything and have the sense of humour of a boat hook".
Mam 2#: "Never mind. There's always encyclopedia dramatica".
by Stormsworder June 7, 2007
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education

Education is what the current UK government and its puppet-masters want only the children of the rich to have. Britain is in very real danger of ending up with an entire generation of uneducated underclass. The middle school I went to years ago was practically a borstal, where bullying went ignored, where teachers either blamed the victims or carried on smoking their cigarettes. The deputy headmaster was a stroppy, loud-mouthed oaf and the headmistress was a poisonous old witch who threw people out of assembly for not standing up quickly enough. People were reprimanded for being late, but I can remember being sent to see the deputy head who told me off (naughty boy, arriving late indeed, etc) and then arriving at class for registration to find out the teacher hadn't arrived yet. Said teacher was forever late, and we had to stand outside the building waiting for her to arrive to let us into class no matter what the weather was like. Once she turned up, tardy as ever, saying "you're late, class". In another school everyone was called to assambly once to be given a stern lecture about bad language. That had real moral authority, considering more than one teacher used the f-word in front of the class. I don't know quite what those schools are like by now. I shudder to think. I know of teachers who say how impossible to teach anyone. What with the 'rights without responsibility' culture which goes hand-in-hand with New Labour, no teacher is allowed to reprimand any bully or disruptive individual.

So I'm sure school teaches us. It teaches us that authority is a case of hypocrisy and double-standards, that the guilty are rewarded and the innocent made to feel they are worthless scum.

These days standards have fallen to the point where this country's education system is the laughing stock of the world. Once it was the envy of everyone. People with the money to do so all used to come to the UK to be educated in our universities. Now, thanks to a succession of useless governments, everyone in the UK with the money to do so goes abroad to university. Tony Bliar and his masters con the public into thinking the UK's children are educated by making exams so easy a 5-year-old can attain a dozen A-stars (despite calling for education to be down to the lowest denominator, New Labour ministers send their own children to expensive private schools). And only the rich can go to university. Anyone else will find themselves in debt for the rest of their natural lives.
"Here's a piece of education. This school was named after a lord mayor".
"Good grief. If he was alive today he'd sue the place for every penny. Fancy having your name associated with a dump like that".
by Stormsworder November 16, 2006
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Prince Harry

Younger son of Prince Charles, Prince Harry thinks it's a laugh to dress up as a nazi. He probably found the uniform in Princess Michael's wardrobe. Er, has anyone ever told her that Michael is actually a boy's name?
A parent annoyed that her child is not paying attention at school: If you don't learn anything you'll end up with an IQ like Prince Harry.
Child: (horrified) Alright, I'll do better from now on!
by StormSworder August 15, 2006
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snout

1: An animal's nose. Also used as an insult for someone with a big nose, or to describe a greedy businessman (eg: snout in the trough).
2: A cigarette (other slang terms for this include fag, cancer stick and coffin nail).
3: A police informant. The term presumably derives from the informant 'sniffing out villains'. Other slang terms for a police informant include grass, stool-pigeon and copper's nark.
"Getting snout in jail is a nightmare if you used to be a police snout".
by Stormsworder June 7, 2007
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