stormsworder's definitions
Originally the name 'tarantula' was given to a species of wolf spider in Italy which was blamed for venomous spider bites which locals tried to cure by performing a dance. In fact the spider bites were inflicted by a species of widow spider. But the widow spiders are small and look insignificant, whilst wolf spiders are bigger and hairy, so the wolf spider was blamed. To this day many people judge how venomous a spider is on its size, which is completely inaccurate. Wolf spiders are harmless. These days the name 'tarantula' is used to describe any spider of the Theraphosid family. This family has something like 800 known species in Africa, Mid and South America and Asia, with many more no doubt still undiscovered. The tarantulas (or Theraphosids) are the giants of the spider world, the biggest with leg-spans which could cover a dinner plate (a Goliath Birdeater with a 12-inch leg-span I think is the record). Though some tarantulas live in trees, most are ground-dwellers and the live in burrows. They line the entrances of their burrows with silk. Though tarantulas have no senses of hearing or smell and very poor vision, they have a very developed sense of touch. The hairs on their legs can detect the slightest air or ground vibration, and the lines of silk they lay down around their burrows are almost like extentions of their legs. Any small animal touching one of those threads will instantly alert the tarantula. Tarantulas feed on anything from crickets, locusts and cockroaches to rodents, small snakes and small lizards. Despite the fact they are often known as 'bird-eating spiders' in the US, it is probably very rare for a tarantula to eat a bird, though tree-climbing tarantulas can easily help themselves to a chick when a parent bird is away from its nest. With their basic webs they are thought to be the earliest form of spider, date back over 350 million years. When threatened or annoyed, tarantulas rear up on their back legs and bare their fangs. Some can even make a hissing/rustling noise by rubbing bristles on their jaws together. Tarantulas do not eat solid food. When a tarantula feeds, it injects a digestive fluid into its prey through its fangs. The prey is then gradually liquidised and absorbed into the mouth in a similar way to water being absorbed into a sponge. Tarantulas breathe through gill-like openings in the underside of their abdomens called 'book lungs'. When tarantulas mate, the male inserts sperm from his pedipalps ('feelers') into an opening under the female's body. Female tarantulas are larger and stronger than the more spindly-looking males, can live anything up to ten or twenty years, maybe longer depending on the species. Once the male has reached full size he can't hope to live eighteen months at the most. Despite the hooks on his front legs (for holding the female's fangs) he maybe be eaten after (or even before) mating. Tarantulas shed their skins, on average once a year. They can cast off a damaged limb but re-grow it gradually, the new limb becoming bigger every time their shed their skin. The tarantula skin is an exoskeleton, made of keratin (the same material human nails are made of). Despite the fear and horror they install in so many people (who've learnt most of what they know about tarantulas from the movies) tarantulas have venom which is unable to endanger human life. In fact, there is no record of anyone being killed by a tarantula bite. Some New World species have hairs on their abdomens which they can flick off with their back legs. These can cause an itching/burning sensation if they come into contact with human skin. But let's be honest, tarantulas are probably more afraid of us than we are of them, and they are a major controller of destructive pests like cockroaches and locusts. In fact tarantulas make excellent pets. They are more likely to run away rather than attack, unless they are cornered. Tarantulas are certainly not made of rubber, as some movies would have us believe. They are just as much flesh and blood as we are.
by StormSworder August 15, 2006
Get the tarantulamug. 1: What people continue to let their dogs do despite so-called laws.
2: What the council do by putting up all those hideous new lamp posts (usually featureless metal posts with shapeless lumps of plastic on top of them, resembling giant golf clubs). Thanks to carefree, penny-pinching councils, we now have old town and village centres looking like football pitches full of floodlights. We also have landfill sights struggling to cope with the thousands of perfectly good lamp posts which have been removed due to pointless rules and regulations.
2: What the council do by putting up all those hideous new lamp posts (usually featureless metal posts with shapeless lumps of plastic on top of them, resembling giant golf clubs). Thanks to carefree, penny-pinching councils, we now have old town and village centres looking like football pitches full of floodlights. We also have landfill sights struggling to cope with the thousands of perfectly good lamp posts which have been removed due to pointless rules and regulations.
Howcome the council don't get fined for fouling the pavement. Go away and take your cheap rubbish with you.
by Stormsworder October 25, 2006
Get the fouling the pavementmug. 1: A formidable woman.
2: One of the zoids (mechanical monsters released as wind-up and battery-operated toys, made in Japan). A Hellcat zoid looks like some kind of big cat, possibly a panther or cheetah. Its first UK release was in 1986. It was re-released in Japan in 1999 with a spelling mistake on its box (Helcat).
2: One of the zoids (mechanical monsters released as wind-up and battery-operated toys, made in Japan). A Hellcat zoid looks like some kind of big cat, possibly a panther or cheetah. Its first UK release was in 1986. It was re-released in Japan in 1999 with a spelling mistake on its box (Helcat).
That mother of my girlfriend Alice is a right hellcat. Apparently she once bit a teacher's nose off after Alice was given a detention for not doing her homework.
by StormSworder August 14, 2006
Get the hellcatmug. The current leader of the UK Conservative party, David Cameron just about sums up the Tories as of late. The UK government has never been so openly and blatantly corrupt, sleazy, spiteful and dishonest. Any half-decent opposition would have knocked the New Labour party into oblivion after their first term in power. Which shows just how useless the Tory party is. Cameron himself is an ex-Etonian, stuck atop an ivory tower with no idea of the working classes or life outside his pampered little world. Since becoming leader he is hell-bent on turning the Tories into an immitation of New Labour (why have an opposition in that case?) and is determined to go soft on crime, trying to generate sympathy for criminals. Pity he can't show any sympathy for the victims. Like Blair, Cameron is just window-dressing for a party obsessed with PC, PR and image. If you ask me, the remaining Tories true to the party's principles should break away and form their own party. See how long Cameron and his band of spoon-fed, liberal soft-heads survive on their own. The latest PC stunt, appointing an asian female MP, had blown up in Cameron's face, as she is talking more sense than all his cronies put together and no-one can accuse her of racism or sexism. I say Patel for the next leader of the Tory party.
David Cameron doesn't want the Tory party to come to power, let's be honest. Because if they get elected, the Tories won't have a clue what they're supposed to do. Unless....
Cameron: "Er, excuse me, Tony. Hang on a minute, will you. What exactly is it a government is supposed to do?"
Cameron: "Er, excuse me, Tony. Hang on a minute, will you. What exactly is it a government is supposed to do?"
by Stormsworder December 1, 2006
Get the david cameronmug. 1: Not very expensive. The word cheap, however, is best avoided when selling cut-price items or bargains. Nobody likes to be thought of as 'cheap'.
2: A girl who is generous with her favours, to put it politely.
3: Lacking in imagination. Eg: 'cheap' ways of getting you to lose lives in a video game.
4: Someone who spends their life not paying their way. (eg: cheapskate).
2: A girl who is generous with her favours, to put it politely.
3: Lacking in imagination. Eg: 'cheap' ways of getting you to lose lives in a video game.
4: Someone who spends their life not paying their way. (eg: cheapskate).
The special effects in that film were really cheap. Looked like they'd put a collection bottle on a pub bar and paid for the effects out of the procedings.
by Stormsworder February 4, 2007
Get the cheapmug. N.Gin is a character in the Crash Bandicoot series of video games. He first appeared in Crash Bandicoot 2, as the right-hand-man of the power-mad Dr Neo Cortex. He is a physicist who, with his mech-suits, has played the part of end-of-area boss in some of the Crash games. He has been playable in the racing games Crash Team Racing, Crash Nitro Kart and Crash Tag Team Racing. Physically he is a short, squat ginger-haired man dressed in some kind of white coat with what look like metal studs. Half his head is metallic. This came about due to one of his own missiles going wrong and hitting him in the head. Due to his scientific prowess he was able to stop it exploding. In Crash Tag Team Racing he is dressed like a goth, and his vocalisations whenever Crash hits him have led to some people suggesting he is a massochist (although he could just be mocking Crash's attempts to hurt him).
by Stormsworder December 20, 2006
Get the Dr N.Ginmug. This is a belief which was invented to explain why we are all here. Basically it states that the world was created by some greater being (God). But then who created God? The theory of Creationsim falls flat through stating the Earth is thousands of years old, despite the fact it was proved to be billions of years old through scientific research. Creationists mock the theory of evolution and condemn the teaching of evolution at school. Evolution seems like the most sensible theory to me. Ah, but then howcome there are so many gaps in the evolutionary pathway? For one thing, it is a real fluke that an animal survives in fossil form, a billion-to-one chance requiring exactly the right geological conditions. Yes, we have a lot of skeletons in museums, but they are nothing when you consider how many animals have existed over the history of time. For another thing, it has been suggested that evolution takes place in jumps rather than gradually (a new, more evolved species suddenly starts appearing, gradualy takes over the older species). As for the teaching of evolution at school, it is taught as a theory. You don't have to believe in it. On the other hand, teaching Creationism at school involves indoctrinating children. I still remember being told that "God is always watching us and can punish us if we act or think wrongly". It makes me laugh when certain Creationists complain about CCTV cameras everywhere or the government spying on us all. Beliefs like Creationism were the Big Brother and the CCTV cameras of their day, were used to control the working classes. Now George W Bush is talking about teaching Creationism in schools in the USA instead of evolution. I can't help feeling all he really wants to do is create a brainwashed army to fight a religious war against Muslims.
A certain Creationism-believing journalist equates anyone who believes in evolution with genocidal murderers, tells us how narrow-minded they are. That's funny, because the religious people I've met are some of the most narrow-minded, snobbish, hypoctrical bigots I've ever had the misfortune the come across.
by Stormsworder December 7, 2006
Get the creationismmug.