7 definitions by sorkab
When a person has qualities that would normally be arousing or alluring (good looks, money, expensive car, flashy job), but has other qualities, such as a distasteful personality or an appearance that doesn't quite match their photos posted online, that make him or her sexually repellent.
Jake was totally hot on paper - he's an attorney at a big law firm, drives a new BMW convertible, is tall, and in his profile online, looked really cute, with dark, wavy hair. But when I met him in person, his hair had mostly fallen out, and all he could talk about was his psycho ex-girlfriend. Hot on paper, not hot in person!
by sorkab August 16, 2010
Rednecks with Disposable Income. Typically a person hailing from a rural or exurban area with a modicum of formal education who strikes it comparatively rich in one of the classic redneck occupations: plumbing supply, tow trucking, sale of family-owned land to developer, marijuana cultivation. An RDI spends freely on redneck status symbols, such as a tricked-out bass boat, Harley-Davidson, ostentatious McMansion, gold chains, Tony Stewart tattoos, gleaming RV for treks to Talladega. Personification of the adage "money cannot buy class." Object of both envy and scorn from less moneyed rednecks.
"Ole Jim Bob Parker made a ton of money laying pipe and now all of them Parkers are just RDIs. They think they're something but they ain't nothin'. Still rednecks. Like that new bass boat o' his though."
by sorkab July 6, 2010
The act of emitting intestinal methane gas, i.e., a fart, while underwater, especially in the bathtub, causing the gas to bubble up through the water only to emerge with increased sound and odor as it hits the air. Playing the water trumpet takes on added enjoyment when one positions one's anus so that the emitted gas tickles up one's backside as it rises up through the water.
Phil enjoys playing his water trumpet while taking a bath with his wife, Sheila, causing her to bolt up and out of the tub, screaming, "PHIL! Stop farting in the bathtub!! It stinks!"
by sorkab September 3, 2010
When you have sex with more than one person in a circle of friends or coworkers. This act may disrupt the natural balance of this circle of acquaintances, causing discord, animosity, and jealousy among the members of the circle.
Jane slept with both Ted and his best friend and former fraternity brother, Larry, which was a blatant circle violation. Although neither Ted nor Larry are interested in dating Jane, they no longer speak.
by sorkab February 11, 2010
A beautiful woman, typically tall, sexy, shapely and startlingly blonde, who is, upon closer inspection, completely psycho, causing the man who at first praised his good fortune to have met her to take out a restraining order against her in a vain attempt to keep her from destroying his person or property.
Leon met Clarissa in a bar and thought she was the most perfect blonde he'd ever seen, but after she started calling him 30 times a day at work to scream at him, accusing him of sleeping with other women, and keying his car, he realized that she was not a goddess, but instead a classic Restraining Order Barbie. He wound up with one missing tooth and a $1,500 car repainting bill, but at least she's out of his life now.
by sorkab August 19, 2010
Excessive hair on a man's back that is long enough to allow his female companion for the evening to grab hold of it during a sexual encounter, adding to her tactile pleasure and excitment.
Lulu remarked to her friends the next morning that "Leon has some serious grabbage on his back; I think I pulled out a small chunk of hair during one furious moment."
by sorkab April 8, 2010
A person who appears cool and normal at first, and then, unexpectedly, reveals a decidedly douchey character. Common exhibitors of stealth doucheness are outside sales representatives, apartment leasing managers, college fraternity presidents, and automotive salesmen. While more commonly seen in males, females may also exhibit stealth doucheness, yet females with the condition are typically referred to as backstabbing beyotches.
I thought Sam was cool at first. He always brought beer to the office party and looked the other way when I was cruising online instead of working. But the dude is a stealth douche - he suddenly ratted me out to HR and now I'm on probation.
by sorkab August 4, 2010