Definitions by scodder

monkey meat

Monkey meat is the meat of the Common Monkey (Monkitus vulgaris).

It is delicious in won ton soup, garnished with hot chilies, sesame oil, and a drizzle of monkey jizz.

Wu Fang said our monkey meat won ton soup was almost ready, but he was still jacking off the monkeys for the garnish.

monkey meat by scodder May 1, 2010

hummusexual

A hummusexual is a person who spreads hummus on his willy and then gets sucked off.

Especially inspiring with a dash of hot sauce

Shlomo declared his hummusexual nature by dipping his dong in the hummus and then going upstairs with Rebecca.

The moans and slurping sounds were awesome.

hummusexual by scodder May 1, 2010

teach me to jive, grasshopper 

Asking someone to "teach me to jive, grasshopper" is actually code for "rip off my panties, put them on my head, suck my titays, and then roger me to exhaustion".

A very popular thing to say at parties.

When Binky heard Simone say the magic words, "teach me to jive, grasshopper", he knew it was going to be a good evening.

teach me to jive, grasshopper by scodder May 1, 2010

basset hounds of the apocalypse

The basset hounds of the apocalypse appear at great disasters.

They bark in their deep bassety voices, mark their territory with pissin' and scratchin', and move on.

Their names are Grumpy, Dopey, Sleepy and Snuffles.

News reports mention the appearance of the four basset hounds of the apocalypse at the Johnstown Flood.

Their deep bassety voices instilled great fear.

basset hounds of the apocalypse by scodder April 30, 2010

Carlos the Jacker 

Carlos the Jacker is a renowned European terrorist who jacks off on his victims or their stuff.

The Archduke of Lichtenstein knew he had been a victim of Carlos the Jacker when he found suspicious jizz on his stemware, and on his corgis "Steffi" and "von Brucellosis".

"Damn you, Carlos!" he cried out, shaking his tiny fist.

Carlos the Jacker by scodder April 30, 2010

queerleader 

A queerleader is a male cheerleader who stirs up the male fans' enthusiasm with stroking, sucking and ass drilling.

When Rick saw the queerleaders heading for his section of the stands, he ran.

Behind him he heard moaning, slurping, and cheers.

queerleader by scodder April 30, 2010

monkey job 

A monkey job means swinging from a bar and screaming loudly while giving a blowjob.

Very refreshing.

Cindy was much loved around the frat for her ability to give a fantastic monkey job.

monkey job by scodder April 29, 2010