rperazag's definitions

Not To-Do List

A list of all the activities you are intentionally going to stop doing, because you are taken for granted by your boss, colleagues, spouse, friends, lover, assorted relatives, and even your pet, who constantly abuse of your kindness, commitment, and productivity, forcing you to carry their work and fulfill their responsibilities.

End of line!!! I won´t take the abuse from all the slackers and suckers around me anymore. From today on I am going to stop doing what is on my "Not To-Do List".

by rperazag June 22, 2010

Net Positive

A person who has evolved in his communications and data management to the point of considering obsolete the use of text messages, cd burning, and games not played online.
A Net Positive person does not watch TV, neither goes to movie theaters; if not downloadable, he says, it is not worth the bother.

A: "Yo... let´s go to see Date Night."
B: "You mean... to the cinema?"
A: "´Course!"
B: "Forget it... Net Positive."

by rperazag June 22, 2010

CAPTCHA CODE

A type of challenge-response test used by savvy women to ensure that the responses they get from potential mates are not generated by one-night-standers and bullshitters who would say and promise anything ludicrous (obviously absurd) to get some friction (intercourse).
(Completely Automated Partner Test To Tell Cocks and Humans Apart — CAPTCHA.)
The code tells potential steady partners from shitty lays automatically apart.

X: "But Mary, why you date wall-streeters?"
Y: "No fuss darling, in three minutes into the Captcha Code and I can tell if the catch is long-term relationship material."

by rperazag June 22, 2010

Deipnophobia

Fear of dinner conversations.

A. “So, Jim. What exactly are your intentions with my daughter?”
B. "Sorry sir, I don´t understand your question."
A. Oh Jim! We invited you for dinner because we want to know about your intentions with Julia."
B. "But... sir..."
A. "Sir what? Do you have deipnophobia? For Christ´s sake. It´s a simple question."

by rperazag June 23, 2010

Tocophobia

Fear of pregnancy. In case you didn’t know, pregnancy = children.

A. "Oh sweetheart, I am so thrilled about our wedding..."
B. "Me too, living together will be great mutual support to our career development."
A. "Yes, and as a family with few children."
B. "I know Sarah but, first things first."
A. "What? C´mon... Do you suffer tocophobia?"

by rperazag June 23, 2010

Philophobia

Fear of being in love.

X: "Man, have you seen what people do when they're in love? They do all sorts of stupid, embarrassing stuff usually for no reason what-so-ever. People who are scared of being in love are not strange at all, they're just sensible."
Y: Oh...Sure! They have Philophobia."

by rperazag June 26, 2010

Nyctohylophobia

Fear of being in the Forest at night.

X: "Let´s take a shortcut to the pub."
Y: "You mean, through the woods?"
X: "Yeah, it will save us a solid 10 minutes."
Y: "Forget it... I suffer from Nyctohylophobia."
X: "Are you afraid of being at night in the forest?"
Y: "Yeah... I am also afraid of monsters, killers, bears, and everything lurking in a dark forest.

by rperazag June 26, 2010