rpcgal's definitions

Cheek Mute

Similar to Butt Dial, a Cheek Mute is when you hold your phone up to your face to talk, your cheek pushes the mute button without you realizing it.

I called my friend and kept saying hello, hello and shaking my phone wondering why he wasn’t answering me. I finally looked at the phone and realized I had cheek muted.

by rpcgal January 18, 2022

Illiterary Reference

When you quote with confidence from a work of literature but get it horribly wrong.

I said to my wife, you know like in Moby Dick, “I am not afraid of storms, for I am learning how to sail my ship.” To which she responded, that’s from Little Women. Nice illiterary reference.

by rpcgal January 29, 2022

Off-Season Beautiful

When you’re not one of the truly beautiful people, but enough so to qualify in the off-season.

My wife and were in Portofino, the waiter seated us at a seaside table where others walking by could see us. We thought that doesn’t usually happen. Then we realized the restaurant was mostly empty and it was the off-season, so while not truly beautiful people, we do qualify as off-season beautiful.

by rpcgal November 24, 2022

Fundred

A $100 bill you carry with you which can only be used to go on an adventure or do something unexpected for the pure pleasure of it. Fundreds are not allowed to be used to pay bills or similar expenses. Carrying a Fundred reminds you to be on the lookout for opportunities for fun.

My wife and I were at a Cars and Copters show at the local airport. It was $50 per person to go on a helicopter ride. We’d never been in a helicopter and since I had a Fundred with me, we decided to do it. It was Fundred well spent.

by rpcgal February 21, 2021

Petsplaining

The futile endeavor of explaining to your pets what they did wrong and expecting them to understand.

I explained to my puppy why it was wrong for him to pee on the carpet. Two hours later he peed on the carpet again. I should have realized petsplaining doesn’t work.

by rpcgal January 29, 2022

#RunOnTheFrank

When a shortage of cocktail franks causes people to over-buy for the holiday season, leaving the shelves empty.

I was going to make piggies in a blanket for Christmas, then I discovered all the stores were sold out. I didn’t realize there was a #RunOnTheFrank.

by rpcgal November 24, 2022

Bluetooth Carjacking

When you start your car and it connects to your spouse’s phone.

I started my car and my wife’s phone call from inside the house started coming in on my car speaker. I realized when she borrowed my car last night, I had become the victim of a Bluetooth Carjacking.

by rpcgal January 29, 2022